Unfulfilled Wishes
by SmallRozfan
Summary: CLois but closure for Lana and Clark. Short future fic. Trying to clean up the ending with CLana so it doesn't feel like Lois was his second choice. Check it out for full summary.
1. Chapter 1

**Unfulfilled Wishes**

Rating: T

Category: Future fic, CLois

Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Smallville, DC Comics, Superman, etc. Just having a bit of fun with my imagination and the characters who inspire it sometimes. I also own nothing to do with Garth Brooks or his song _Unanswered Prayers_. It was just my inspiration.

Summary: After hearing Garth Brooks' old song "Unanswered Prayers" again, I thought we really needed a little closure for Lana and Clark. I hate how the show left things with Lana and Clark. I know they've developed Lois and Clark's relationship pretty well but after rewatching the last scene between Lana and Clark, it just seemed to make it look like Lois would be his second choice. I'm trying to fix that a little. This is a short future fic to help close the book on Lana and Clark, for good. Reviews are very much appreciated.

Chapter 1

Clark and Lois entered the stadium and looked around at the crowd. It was pretty chilly for it being so early in the season. Squeezing her hand gently and subconsciously toying with her rings on the third finger, Clark pulled her closer to him and spoke into her ear to be heard over the roar of the crowd and the band on the field. "Are you warm enough?"

She grinned at him and nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. This is great! I'm so glad we made it this year."

At the flash of guilt on his face, Lois was sorry she had mentioned the fact that they missed last year. "Lois, I'm sorry. I know we try to go to the homecoming game every year but with that earthquake in Japan…"

She cut him off by kissing him lightly on the lips. "Don't apologize, Smallville! You were needed there and I'm proud of you for having done what you could. You know I never mean to complain when you are out there saving people. I will always support you saving lives. It's just that we had a tradition going here and I missed it last year. I'm glad we're able to get back to Smallville for the Crows' homecoming game. Brings back some fun memories, don't you think?"

Good humor restored, Clark ginned back at her. Lois' enthusiasm was contagious. She loved football and fall and spending time with him. It had started the fall after they got engaged. They had been walking around Main Street in town on a Saturday afternoon, just looking in the shops and enjoying each other's company when one of the high school band members had come up to them and asked if they wanted to buy tickets to the homecoming game. Lois' eyes had lit up and the tradition was born.

Clark could refuse her nothing, and between the excitement of the game and spending time together, they had had a wonderful time…every year from that year on. That was four years ago. The more exciting the game, the more fun they had…both during and after the game. Lois always seemed to have some left over energy from the game that she took out on Clark when they got home. He had absolutely no complaints and their love making was one of the best reasons for keeping the tradition going. A goofy grin spread across his face at the memory of the year before last. The Crows had won and he had reaped the benefits of a close game…three times over.

Pointing up into the stands, Lois leaned into him. "Looks like a couple of places up there. We should be able to see pretty good from up there." He looked to where she was pointing, nodded at her with a smile, adjusted his glasses and started towards the stands.

Keeping a tight hold on Lois' hand, Clark made his way up the bleachers, pulling her behind him. When they finally reached the open spot, he started to pull her into the row but she pulled back. Glancing back, he saw her grin. "Sorry, hon, but I'm starving! I think I'm gonna go grab a hotdog. You want anything?"

"Here, Lois, I'll go get the food. Why don't you wait here? I know you'd hate to miss the kickoff," he told her and started back the way he had come.

Lois let go of his hand and placed hers on his chest. "Don't be silly, Smallville. I'm perfectly capable of getting the food myself. Besides, I might see something else I want while I'm getting the hotdog. I'll be back in plenty of time for the kickoff, and even if I missed it, that's not the point of all this anyway is it? Now did you want something?"

Clark smiled at her and pulled her close, giving her a brief peck on the lips. She wasn't one for big public displays of affection. At her faint blush and the way her eyes darted around, his smile turned into a delighted grin. "Surprise me. You know I'll eat pretty much anything."

She flashed him a smile and turned back to the stairs. Clark followed her with his eyes, always keeping watch over her safety. When she disappeared into the crowd in the direction of the food stand, he turned his eyes to the field and the crowd, enjoying the atmosphere while listening out for any problems that required his special attention. He hoped that there wouldn't be anything too monumental tonight. He was looking forward to this time with Lois and watching the Crows play. They were said to have a good team this year. The Torch, which he read occasionally but missed that sense of weirdness that Chloe's touch had always brought to it, reported that the head Coach was really excited about his players this year.

The band started playing a familiar piece of music, one of the band director's favorites from even when he was in school. Suddenly, he was 15 again, watching the Crows on the field, wanting so badly to be a part of it…to be normal. He saw Whitney Fordman running down the field. He saw his friend Pete sitting on the bench, just itching for the chance to be on the field. He saw Chloe badgering the Coach about his players' academic status and the Coach sighing in aggravation at having to deal with her while he tried to train his team to become stars. So many memories flooded through him…people come and gone, friends, people he saved, meteor freaks he stopped.

Chuckling, he remembered Chloe's "Wall of Weird" and how they had chased down so many stories, all the while trying to throw her off his own scent. Chloe had always been interested in how things worked and solving mysteries. It had made her great at investigative reporting but even better as his, and the rest of their superhero friends', sidekick. Clark should have known that she would be one of the first people to ever discover his secret.

He smiled at how small Pete had looked in his uniform…like he had been trying on his father's clothes. Pete had been one of his closest friends for years. They had camped together, shot hoops together, got into trouble together, and bailed each other out together. Clark understood now how hard it was for Pete all those years ago, trying to keep that secret. Pete just wasn't designed for keeping things that big. He still talked to him from time to time. Pete was married now, living in Topeka, working as a cop. In fact, he had just been promoted a couple of months ago to detective.

Clark's smile faltered a little as he recalled Whitney's distrust and hostility turn into grudging friendship and respect…and the subsequent news that the former quarterback had been killed. A full scowl darkened his face as he remembered the way his friendship had started with Lex, blossomed and then quickly sickened and died. He still wondered from time to time if there was something he could have done differently to have changed the way Lex had turned out.

His smile returned as the music changed and he was thrown back to the time he was in the dunk tank for the pep rally and Lois had, with very accurate aim, dropped him into the water. God that was a long time ago! His thoughts drifted over so many memories. He finally allowed other memories, ones he had buried so long ago, so many times that it had become habit, to rise to the surface and he suddenly saw his high school days with the common thread that had tied them all together…his infatuation for the girl who had lived next door.

Lana Lang. God, such a major part of his life! The one name, the one face, the one _person_ that left him aching to be normal…to be like everyone else. He saw her with that necklace made of the "meteor rock" around her neck. He saw her in her uniform practicing on the field with the other cheerleaders. He saw her smiling at him with that warm, friendly smile that freshman year. He could almost hear her voice as she asked him about his book as she helped him pick up his things.

_"So what are you? Man or superman?" _she had asked with a smile.

So lost in his memories of her was he that he almost thought he was hallucinating when a familiar voice said from his right, "Clark Kent? It is you, isn't it?"

Turning, Clark was sure he was dreaming or daydreaming or something. Walking up to him was the one and only Lana Lang. She still had a beautiful smile and it lit up her face as she was genuinely glad to see him. He blinked a couple of times, trying to make sure that she was really here.

"Lana!" he acknowledged hesitantly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Unfulfilled Wishes**

Rating: T

Category: Future fic, CLois

Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Smallville, DC Comics, Superman, etc. Just having a bit of fun with my imagination and the characters who inspire it sometimes.

A/N: Thank you so much to all you readers out there! I especially want to thank those of you who took the time to leave feedback. It is much appreciated! Specific feedback to specific people was/will be addressed through PM. That said, I wanted to clarify something, as there seems to be a little confusion. I am in no way a CLana fan. Lana was all well and good for Clark as a teen. However, all my life I've been a CLois fan, from the movies, L&C:TNAoS, and the comics that I've read. Lois is _**always **_Clark's first choice. So the closure in this fic isn't really for Clark. It's for the way the writers left Lois feeling at the punch bowl at the high school reunion, and it's for the way the writers left Lana feeling when she had to leave. This is for us as the watchers/readers who like everything nicely and neatly tied up with no loose ends. This is to _show_ us that Clark would indeed chose Lois if both of them were standing in front of him and he had the choice. It also gives us some nice CLois romance time. That said, I might venture into some uncomfortable territory for a line or two. Anyways, I hope that clarifies that this is a CLOIS fic. On with the show. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

PS. **Imhooked**, I tried to PM you but it wouldn't work. Loved your feedback and I agree with you 100%. Thanks for reading! Please continue to let me know how you are enjoying the story.

Chapter 2

Memories of Lana had been so painful to recall after she had left, leaving him that DVD, that Clark had repressed them, pushed them to the deepest corners of his mind. Then when he and Lois had started dating, he kept them repressed out of guilt. After all, he had almost kissed Lois at Jimmy and Chloe's wedding, then turned around and while she was gone taking care of Jimmy, had picked up with Lana almost where they had left off…or maybe even had skipped over a couple of steps. It just seemed that his relationship with Lana was a habit, so when it finally had _ended_ and she was gone, it just dredged up all that pain all over again. He was never sure if he was really upset that he had to say goodbye again or if he was just reliving the original pain. And now, here she was standing in front of him again.

Her presence didn't change how Clark's relationship with Lois had developed. It didn't change the fact that he had grown into the man, or _men_ depending on how you looked at it, he had become. He was still Superman and Clark Kent, superhero and reporter, confident symbol of hope and good and all around nice guy who wrote for a major metropolitan newspaper. He was still the somewhat clumsy, awkward nice guy that was often late, forgot things and seemed to disappear in the middle of every conversation. He was still an alien that could fly, was bullet proof, could stop a train, and preferred wearing the primary colors because they were easy for everyone to see when he was saving the world. He was still the man who had fallen in love with and married Lois Lane.

The fact that Lana Lang was standing in front of him right at this moment didn't change any of that, so why was his heart skipping that strange rhythm? Why did Clark suddenly feel like he was 15 again? Why did it suddenly feel like his Superman side was off in another galaxy?

As Lana stepped forward, he instinctively took a couple of steps back and lightly collided with the woman standing on the other side of him. He turned to apologize and when he turned back, Lana was standing right before him, so close he could smell her perfume. He waited for the physical pain of her nearness but was surprised when it didn't come. What had changed? Was she still wearing the suit she had stolen from Lex? It was Lana wasn't it?

Lana's smile didn't falter but turned a little more amused. "Yeah, Clark, it's really me."

"But how…?" He let the question remain unfinished, instead gesturing between himself and her.

"How is it that I can stand this close to you?" she finished so that no one would overhear. Clark nodded and she folded her arms across her chest, her eyes glancing down at the ground and then back up at his. "A little over a year ago, I was doing what I could to help after that terrible hurricane that hit the Caribbean. I ran into Oliver, and we got to talking about Superman and the League and all the great things I'd been hearing about that you all are able to do as a team. I told him how great I thought it was… and how I wished I could be a part of it. He asked why I couldn't be, and I've been helping where I can, but it was hard trying to make sure I stayed out of your way so I didn't hurt you."

Clark's mind quickly went over all the unexplained saves that he came across just minutes after someone else had taken care of but he knew none of the JLA had done. Then there were the weird messages or alerts he would get from Oliver or Bruce that would suddenly change his initial course or destination for one reason or another but they always sounded somewhat hollow. The missing pieces fell into place and he felt a mixture of relief, anger, and something else. Why hadn't they told him about this? Lana had been circling his life for over a year. He wasn't sure how he really felt about that.

Lana continued her story and Clark shook his head slightly to concentrate on what she was saying. "About 6 months ago, Oliver and Bruce decided to try and help me so that I could really be a part of the team. If ever there was a time when the entire League would be needed, including me and you, then we needed to be able to work together without the constant worry that proximity to each other might kill you. So between their contacts and scientists, they were able to not only stop the suit from absorbing Kryptonite, which they did first, but also neutralize the Kryptonite it had already absorbed. After months of testing and hard work, I'm happy to relate that I'm 100% Kryptonite free," she ended with another full blown smile and her arms spread wide as if he could somehow see the results.

When Lana had obtained that suit with all those powers…it was the same feeling and line of thinking he had had when they were together when he lost his powers, or when she had obtained his powers using the Kryptonite and lightning. Here was someone who could be his physical equal…whom he didn't have to worry about hurting…someone who could stand by him and help him save the world. Clark had been so afraid of ending up alone, he had never stopped to consider if the person _wearing_ the suit was really the right person for him. Was Lana the person who should be by his side, helping to save the world? Was she the one who helped give him the strength to go off and do the things he had to do to keep the world safe and the reason he kept in mind for doing it all in the first place?

He hadn't considered those questions then and before there had been any real time to adjust to the truth of the situation, to allow things to play out between them, she was gone again, ripped away from him, leaving him in a whirlwind of emotions. After Lana had left for the second time, after he had begged her to stay, Clark firmly pushed all memories of that time into a vault in the back of his mind and had thrown away the key, determined never to revisit those memories. He had thought it was the best way of dealing with the pain. Now he was again wondering if it _had_ been best to avoid those memories rather than working through them.

When Lois and he were engaged, she had brought up Lana once. Clark had quickly hit the highlights of what happened after Lana's return at Chloe's wedding and the reason she had left, but he left out some pretty significant details. Not that Clark had ever thought Lois wouldn't be able to handle it, but he wasn't sure _he_ could ever face that again. She had known he was holding back, and at first, he wasn't sure she would let it go or if she would allow him to keep his secrets and still stay with him. He didn't like remembering that time either. That was the closest Lois had come to breaking up with him for good.

"That's great, Lana, really," Clark said, pushing his glasses up on his face.

The gesture of habit didn't escape Lana's notice, and she flashed an amused smile while looking him over from head to toe. "This is definitely a different look for you, Clark. I almost didn't recognize you, even from the couple of pictures I've seen in the _Planet_. But then I didn't really look at them that closely."

Clark ducked his head, playing up the disguise that had become second nature to him. "Gee, Ms. Lang, I…I never thought I m-might run into you here," he stuttered, his eyes twinkling in humor.

Lana chuckled. "Believe it or not, I like this look. You know, I see the boy I first got to know in high school behind those glasses. I don't mean the self-confident one that developed over time, but the one that used to trip over his own feet and became tongue-tied whenever I was around. The look suits you…at least one side of you," she nodded, her voice laced with amusement. "But I'm also proud of the other side to you. I think it's amazing that you're able to still help people, but out in the light, where you can help inspire others." Her tone was sincere but soft.

There it was again…that feeling like the 15 year old boy again. His mind played tricks on him and he saw Lana as he did that day back in freshman year. The blue sweater, her hair long and straight, the necklace that graced her neck, reminding her of her parents, the way her beautiful eyes sparkled. Shaking his head slightly, Clark's eyes met hers and he swallowed as he flashed her an awkward smile, one that wasn't put on for effect. The silence stretched on for a moment as each of them relived old memories.

The roar of the crowd picked up and they realized the game had started. They allowed themselves to be distracted for a minute or two by the game. Clark realized that not only had he missed the kickoff, he had apparently just missed an important play…one that had gotten the Crows' opponents already on the scoreboard. If Lois hadn't seen the play, he was in big trouble for not paying attention so he could tell her what happened. Maybe she'd ask someone else nearby. Speaking of Lois, where was she?

"So where's Lois?" Lana asked, seeming to read his mind. At his blank look, she gave him a reassuring smile. "I saw the wedding announcement in the Daily Planet a couple of years ago," she told him softly. "I'm happy for you, Clark," she added nodding.

Her hand subconsciously took his and squeezed it for a moment, but didn't turn it loose right away. Clark looked into her eyes and tuned into her body language, especially with his special senses, and realized that Lana seemed to mean what she said. When he looked down at their joined hands and then back up into her face, she flushed but dropped his hand immediately, stuffing both of her hands into the pockets of her jeans.

"Thanks, Lana, but…well, with the way things ended between us…do you really mean that?" he asked so quietly only she would hear. He couldn't believe he had found the courage to bring that up.

Lana's eyes darted from his face, to the side, up to the sky, down at the ground and back up at him and she gave what was almost a chuckle. "Clark…are you sure you want to talk about that _here_, with all these people around?" she asked.

Clark looked around for a minute and then sat down on the bench, pulling her gently down beside him. "No one is paying any attention to us, Lana..." he hesitated before adding, "And maybe we _need_ to talk about what happened when you came back at Chloe's wedding and that couple of weeks."

Looking down at her hands, she played with a bracelet on her right wrist. Sighing she looked up into his face. He waited patiently as she searched for what she wanted to say. "Clark, when I left…" she stopped, shook her head and tried again. "At first, when I came back, I was so happy to be around you again, to be able to see you. I didn't think it would be permanently but I hoped it would. Then I obtained the suit, and I thought we would finally be together. We could fight the bad guys side by side, and be happy doing it as a partnership, as a team. We were finally on equal terms, there was nothing stopping us from being together anymore. I could _help you_ with your destiny instead of standing in the way of it."

She stopped and Clark nodded. It was no more than what he had felt, at least from his perspective at the time. "When we had to make that decision on the roof about that bomb, a part of me demanded that I rebel and we find another way…somehow. I couldn't believe I was going to have to walk away from you again." Lana paused again and took a deep breath. "I just couldn't stay when you asked me to. I meant what I said in the barn that day, Clark. To be around you and not be able to touch you, to be with you, it would have been too much for me. Not to mention I'd be back in the position I felt like I was in the first time I left…I would have been standing in the way of you doing what you needed to do. Walking away from you that day in the barn was the hardest thing I've ever had to do…and I've been put through a lot."

Clark squeezed her hand and she gave him a small smile. "But when I left and really stopped dwelling on the pain of the situation, I started to actually think things through. Clark, we were never really happy together for long. I realized that we were never really a good match. Our timing was always off but it just seemed that love shouldn't be _that_ hard. All our trying to be together ever did was keep us apart and miserable or somehow hurt other people. I also realized that the woman you would need to stand by you and who would be your perfect match didn't have to be on a _physically_ equal plane as you. She would be out there saving the world in her own way. In order to be a partner to you, she would need abilities, assets, different from your own and comfortable in the knowledge that that would be how it should be. If I was that woman, neither of us would have let our being physically different stand in our way. We spent so much time listing or arguing about the reasons why we shouldn't be together that we didn't realize that we were constantly looking for those reasons subconsciously."

Nodding slowly as he thought what she said over, Clark agreed with her. "Maybe you're right. I've never looked at it like that. One of us was always arguing with the other about why we couldn't or shouldn't be together. Love, real love, finds a way to either be together or let go for the good of the other person. All we did was torture each other and ourselves."

Lana snorted softly at that and nodded. Then she gave him an understanding smile. "Clark, I know that you were afraid of being alone. I was too. All the way from high school until I left, it seemed like my life was in a constant state of upheaval…there were so many major changes, and one of the few constant things around me was you. You were always there for me and a good friend and I was so afraid to let go of that. And I know you were afraid of ending up alone because of being different. I think that you had a genuine crush on me for a long time, maybe even cared about me deeper than that, but I think in the end it was more a habit and something to hold onto than real love."

She nudged him lightly and flashed a teasing grin. "Besides, I realized later what I had walked in on at the wedding. You and Lois had been dancing and were just about to kiss weren't you?"

Blushing a little, Clark chuckled. "Yeah, we almost kissed. While you had been gone, Lois and I had become closer and working together and having the same friends, well it just felt natural to take things to another level." He sobered quickly and frowned a little. "I think you walking in when you did really hurt her then. I felt a change in her when I hugged her at the hospital that night after the wedding. She had pulled away from me, emotionally. After she came back from Star City, Lois seemed to be back to her old self and even asked me out, sort of, but I didn't see it then. I was still reeling from that whole mess with you."

"I'm sorry, Clark, if what happened between us ever caused problems with you and Lois. The fact that you are still together and married…well, it just proves my theories right, doesn't it? Love doesn't have to be that hard. Don't get me wrong, I know that relationships can have difficult times, rough patches, but loving someone…really loving someone and trusting in that love, that should be easy," Lana told him sincerely.

Laughing softly, she added, "Besides, I get the satisfaction of knowing I'm the one who recognized the connection between you and Lois before anyone else. I seem to recall bringing it up to you when you two first met." Her smile faltered a little and she studied Clark's face somewhat anxiously as she asked, "You are happy with Lois, aren't you, Clark? I mean, Oliver said that you two seemed really happy together but…well, it would just be good to hear it from you."

Clark's face lit up and his eyes met Lana's squarely. "I've never been happier, Lana. I thought what you and I had was…well, what I have with Lois is just amazing. I know she can be, well, very Lois-like, but I don't know what I'd do without her. I love her more than life itself. She makes everything about my life and what I have to do a little easier. As cheesy as it sounds, she's the wind beneath my cape," he said, giving a goofy grin at his choice of words.

Another cheer went up around them and they jumped up to be able to try to see what was happening on the field. Evidently, the Crows had scored a touchdown, but they had missed it. Clark grimaced at the prospect of what an earful Lois would give him for not being able to give her details of what she was missing.

Chuckling at the look on Clark's face, Lana asked, "Are you ok? I would think the Crows scoring would be a good thing."

"Ironically, I was just thinking how my beautiful, wonderful wife is going to kick my butt because I haven't been paying attention to the game to give her details…if she ever gets back from the food stand," he explained.

Lana laughed again and Clark joined her. Their eyes met and Clark was relieved to see nothing more than friendship and nostalgia in Lana's. Seeming to read his mind again, she placed a hand against the side of his face. "Clark, I really am happy for you. I think it's great that you found your soulmate…for real this time."

Concerned for his friend, he asked, "What about you, Lana? Are you happy?"

Letting her hand drop to her side, Lana looked down at the ground for a moment and tilted her head as she contemplated her answer. Finally, she answered as honestly as she could. "I can't say 'happy' is the word I would use but I'm content, and that's ok for now. I'm at a place where I know I can _become_ happy, and I'm glad my friends are happy and I can really be a part of the League and help others who need it. I guess you could say I see happiness in my future because I can finally let go of the past."

"Well, if there's anything I can do to help speed along the process, I'm more than happy to do so. It's important to me to see you happy, Lana," Clark told her sincerely.

"Thanks, Clark, that means a lot, but just seeing you again and talking all this out has helped more than you know…more than even I could have known it would." She pulled him into a hug and he gladly hugged her back.

A/N: Ok, guys, I've already started on the next part. Just to give you a sneak preview, Lois will be coming back to the stands and we'll get to see a bit of what she and Clark went through with that time she brought up Lana. Remember feedback/reviews are always appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

**Unfulfilled Wishes**

Rating: T

Category: Future fic, CLois

Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Smallville, DC Comics, Superman, etc. Just having a bit of fun with my imagination and the characters who inspire it sometimes.

A/N: Ok, everyone, so sorry about the delay! My life has been overwhelmingly busy and I haven't had as much time as I'd like to work on this. That said I have been working on it when I can. I thought this would be the last chapter but it kind of took on a life of its own and I wanted to show a part from Lois' perspective. I know it's not all that great but I felt it's necessary to move into the next part. This fic is getting longer than I had originally planned but what the heck, sometimes that happens. As always, feedback, comments and thoughts are always welcome. Please no serious bashing my writing but as always constructive criticism is as welcome as flattering comments. Also, to my Smallville sis that lives not 15 minutes away, hope I didn't have too many errors grammatically, but feel free to point them out. Lol. ;)

Chapter 3

"Sorry it took me a minute, but you wouldn't believe the line! _And_ they had small beers for a buck a piece! So then I had to figure out how I was going to carry everything…" Lois's words trailed off as she looked up and caught sight of Clark hugging a young woman with dark hair. As Clark released the woman and turned to face her, Lois's eyes zeroed in on who he had been hugging. Her hazel-green eyes widened as she recognized Lana Lang.

"Lois," Lana acknowledged with a smile and a nod.

"Lana Lang! Wow! Well, this is a surprise!" Lois exclaimed with somewhat over-the-top enthusiasm. Her heart had leaped into her throat and she swallowed hard, suddenly feeling a little out of breath.

Lois could feel Clark's eyes on her but couldn't hold his gaze when she glanced up at him. She hoped his super hearing hadn't picked up on how her heart had skipped a beat and then started racing. She stood there, praying this was a dream that she would wake up from any second. She didn't know what to do next. Was this one of her biggest fears being realized?

Clark noticed that Lois had both hands full and, evidently trying to break the ice in an awkward situation, moved to take something. "Here, Lo, let me help you with that." He took the drink tray from her and fumbled with it for a moment, unable to meet her eyes when she finally allowed them to land on him for more than just a moment.

"It's good to see you, Lois!" Lana exclaimed softly. She moved around Clark to give Lois an awkward hug.

Lois patted her back twice with her free hand before pulling back and shoving her free hand into her pocket. It dawned her that the hand she had just hidden was her left and she briefly wondered if there was some subliminal message to that. She plastered a wide smile on her face, her eyes open wide in an effort to hide the fear, and mild anger, that seeing Lana again brought up. Lois hated feeling afraid and was taught by her father at an early age that fear was debilitating, incapacitating, and so her usual defense for fear was anger. Anger was easier to work with, helped her to keep moving until the situation was resolved or she was able to get out of it.

"Yeah, yeah, it's good to see you too, Lana!" Lois said brightly, maybe a little too brightly. "So what brings you to Smallville? Or are you living here again?"

Lana shook her head. "No, I'm not moving back. I dropped by for a meeting with my accountant and the manager of the Talon. It's doing really well; so well that we're thinking of expanding and opening a second Talon in Granville. There's an old building that looks like it might be perfect. I heard it was homecoming weekend and thought I'd catch the game while I was here, but I'm just passing through town." Technically, Lana still owned the Talon, part of the settlement of her divorce from Lex years ago, but she was only now involved from a distance. It was part of her income, though she gave a good bit of it away to various charities.

"And you just happened to find Clark in the middle of all these people! How…amazingly coincidental!" Lois said with just enough bite for Clark to give her a confused warning look. Her eyes flashed to his and the anger grew. She knew it had come across as a mild growl but she felt like that was tame compared to the desire to tear the shorter brunette to shreds. It might have been illogical or unreasonable but Lois's anger was easier to deal with than the fear she buried deep down.

To her chagrin, however, Lana seemed amused by her attitude, and perhaps a little sadly resigned, if the small sigh Lana let escape was any indication. The smaller woman shrugged, her hands shoved back into her pockets. "Amazing indeed," Lana agreed with a small nod. "I mean, this is the home side and I was headed up to the top and just happened to look over and see Clark. I was scanning the bleachers for an empty spot I could squeeze in, and I saw him."

"So…how is it possible that you're able to be standing here? From what I remember Clark telling me, you two couldn't be near each other without having some pretty severe side effects for Clark," Lois asked, nodding at the pair.

"Some friends helped me fix the problems I was having," Lana answered vaguely.

A roar went up from the crowd around them, but Lois's eyes never left Lana as she asked her next question, her heart skipping a little in anticipation of the answer. "Does that mean that your power suit thingy is gone?"

Lana smiled and shook her head. "Nope, still got the suit, just without all the evil side effects."

Lois kept her smile firmly in place as she murmured, "That's great! Really, really…wonderful."

Clark flashed a large encouraging smile from one young woman to the other. "And Lana's going to be working with the team probably, now that we don't have to worry about the suit's absorption ability anymore."

Beautiful hazel-green eyes widened and darted from Lana to Clark and back again as Lois's smile faltered for just a minute. This was it; one of her worst nightmares could actually be coming true. Lana was super human and there was nothing to stop Clark from leaving her and going back to Lana now. She turned her gaze to Clark but he was smiling at the shorter woman.

Blinking her eyes rapidly, Lois tried to clear her throat of the lump that had formed in it, to no avail. Squaring her shoulders, she came to a decision and nodded to herself almost imperceptibly at her choice. She would have to let him go. Clark meant too much to her; he was the love of her life and she loved him more than life itself. More than her own happiness and well-being, she just wanted him to be happy, and if Lana Lang was the woman he was always destined to be with, she wasn't going to stand in their way…married or not.

Taking a deep breath, Lois smiled and said, "Wow! That's really great. I'm sure the League will love having you part of the team. I think they need more females in the club to help balance the testosterone." Lana laughed at that and Lois joined her with a somewhat forced chuckle. Avoiding Clark's searching gaze, she looked directly into Lana's eyes as she asked, "So, Lana, why don't you sit down and join us? I'm sure you and Clark have a lot to catch up on and I know I'd love to hear more about what you've been up to in the last few years, in between plays of course."

Lana stared at Lois for a long time, her face keeping a half smile and no clue as to what was going through her head. Lois bit the corner of her lip and Clark cleared his throat as if to say something. Seeming to have come to some sort of decision, Lana blinked and shook her head slightly. "I don't want to intrude. You two came to see the game together. I'll be fine…"

Lois was quick to interrupt her. "Don't be ridiculous!" She almost flinched visibly. Hopefully, Clark didn't catch onto her choice of words there. She only used that phrase and other over-the-top ones when she was lying about something or at least hiding her true feelings. "There's no reason why you should sit by yourself and watch the rest of the game when we're here, and we want you to join us. Right, Clark?" She looked at her husband brightly, purposely forcing herself to meet his stare straight on.

Clark's answer was cut short, however, by yet another roar from the crowd. All three of them faced the field and watched as the Crows scored a touchdown. Lois cheered along with the rest, and it seemed that Lana was staying to join the couple. It was not as awkward as Lois had feared, although it was still somewhat so. Lana had grown into a beautiful person inside and out, her heart obviously firmly on the side of truth and justice now. She asked genuine, intelligent questions about Lois and Clark's work at the Daily Planet and paid attention to the answers. She asked after Martha and the farm. Most importantly, however, Lana had a knack for knowing when it was ok to talk and when to just keep quiet and watch the game. Lois grudgingly admitted that she and Lana might have become good friends, except for the fact that the shorter woman would end up with _her_ husband, the hussy. Unless…

A thought struck Lois and she tried to make her question sound light and friendly. "So, Lana, are you seeing anyone?"

Lana glanced at Clark and then turned her gaze back to Lois. "No, I'm currently very much single," she answered and Lois didn't miss the wistful note to her words. Lana Lang was obviously unhappy about her single state.

As the evening continued, Lois tried repeatedly to find ways to encourage Clark and Lana to be together, purposely ignoring the glares or disbelieving frowns her husband kept throwing her way. She brought up memories of Lana and Clark's time together, as short and drama filled as it was, she played up each of their good qualities to the other. She took more trips to the bathroom than she probably should have if she wanted to be subtle, blaming it on the beer, had purposely maneuvered the seating arrangement so that Clark was in the middle of her and Lana, and every time Clark tried to hold her hand or touch her in some loving manner, she would jump up either to go to the bathroom or get another beer or to cheer for the Crows. A couple of times, Lana volunteered to go with her to the bathroom or to the concession stand but Lois refused most of the time, telling Lana to stay and enjoy the game.

A couple of times, Clark felt he had to fly off on a save, leaving the two women alone and those brief times seemed like an eternity to Lois. It was bad enough that she had to give the love of her life up to his ex-girlfriend; did she have to be forced to spend time alone with her? Fortunately, they had the game to act as a distraction. The last time, Lana had tried to call her on her obvious matchmaking.

"Ok, Lois, what's going on?" Lana asked matter-of-factly.

"Going on?" Lois asked innocently, watching the field very intently. "What do you mean?"

Lana sighed rather loudly. "You know exactly what I mean, Lois…"

The rest of her words were swallowed in the cheering from the crowd around them. The game took an exciting turn for a few moments, saving Lois from having to try and answer. When things had quieted on the field again for a minute or so, Lana started to try again but Lois was again saved, this time by Clark's return.

As he settled back down between the girls, offering them both popcorn and a soda, Clark pushed his glasses up his nose and looked over the field. "What'd I miss?" he asked.

Lois took a handful of popcorn, stuffed most of it in her mouth and, around the mouthful, told him about the action and how things stood on the field. Her eyes stayed glued to the players, and she took a sip of whatever Clark had brought her automatically. She frowned down into her cup when she realized it was Coke and not another beer. Shrugging one shoulder to herself, she dismissed it and went back to concentrating on the game. She could see out of her peripheral vision that Clark and Lana were whispering about something but she pretended not to notice.

When the game was over, Clark and Lana were exchanging strange glances that seemed to be communicating something between the two of them, lost on Lois, who was pleasantly buzzed by the alcohol and hyped up from the last quarter. The Crows had won, but it had been a tight game, the other team had put up a great fight. Lois was almost jumping with excitement and Clark smiled at her enthusiasm as a good sign of things to come when they got home.

"Man! Did you guys see that last pass? I thought for sure that Matthews would drop it as he tripped over his own feet. Not only did he keep the ball, but stayed on his feet as he crossed the goal line! That was a great game!" Lois gestured wildly, causing Clark to keep a close eye on her so she wouldn't lose her own balance and go tumbling down the bleachers.

The three made their way down towards the exit, allowing others to pass as they were in no real hurry. Lana grinned at Lois's recounting of several more plays. When they reached the parking lot, she stopped, forcing the two reporters to halt as well. "Well, it's been really great…" Lana started.

Lois jumped in, pretending that in her excitement she didn't hear her. "Hey! You guys wanna grab some pizza? Or an ice cream?"

Lana looked at her like she had two heads and even Clark looked surprised. "Honey, you ate through the entire game! Chili dogs, beer, popcorn, peanuts, candy…"

"Where do you put all that stuff? Not only can I _not_ eat like that, but if I tried, it would either come back up or I'd end up weighing 400 lbs!" Lana asked astonished.

"Lois burns through it like you wouldn't believe. Between chasing down stories, fidgeting, her impatience with elevators and public transportation, and all the coffee she drinks, it's a wonder she doesn't eat more," Clark explained with a chuckle and a loving glance at his wife.

The female reporter pursed her lips and feigned indignation. Her hands landed on her hips automatically. "I'll have you know that I don't eat like that all the time, _and_ I run every…well, almost every day." She tilted her head. "So was that a no to the ice cream?"

Lana grinned and shook her head. "None for me. I've gotta be going anyway."

Lois opened her mouth to protest again, but Clark silenced her by yanking her into his side and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "Yeah, it is getting late and we've got a busy day tomorrow," he said quickly.

Lois huffed internally. Why were they making things so much harder than they had to be? Were they so blind to what she saw or were they just trying to be brave for her? That must be it. Clark always did the right thing, no matter what and just because he still had feelings for Lana didn't mean he would act on them. He was married to Lois and he would see that as an obligation and duty that he had agreed to. The thought was rather depressing and Lois had to brush it aside quickly before it caused her to tear up. Instead, she pulled away from Clark, stepping towards Lana with her arms outstretched.

"It was so good to see you, Lana! In fact, we should all get together for dinner sometime!" she said, embracing the other woman.

The puzzlement on Lana's face almost made Lois laugh out loud, except that her intentions made the situation anything but funny. "Yeah, I guess that would be good," Lana said slowly, obviously wondering what the catch was. Within the next two minutes, Lois had gotten Lana's contact information, had given her theirs and had gotten a promise that they would talk about getting together within the next week or so.

As Lana walked away from them, Clark pulled Lois towards the dark area behind some of the bleachers and changed into his Superman costume to fly them home. When he pulled her back into his arms, Lois purposely tried to keep some distance and although neither said a word, Clark's frown spoke volumes. His frown quickly turned into a small smile as he flew higher and faster. Lois caught her breath at the colder wind from the speed and altitude at which they were now flying and automatically drew closer to her husband who wrapped his arms around her. His embrace was tight enough to help her feel secure and know he wasn't planning on letting go but not so tight as to hurt her.

Scowling up at him briefly, Lois noted the smug expression on his face and her frown turned into a full glare. "You did that on purpose!" she accused.

His eyebrows rose. "Who me?" he asked but laughed at her small growl. As they landed on the balcony of their apartment in Metropolis, he squeezed her gently, unwilling to let go right away. "Lois, what exactly was going on tonight?" he asked softly.

Flashing a very fake smile, Lois disentangled herself slowly but used the action to keep her eyes from his. "What do you mean, Smallville? I thought we had a great time watching a great game that the Crows won. And wasn't it great to run into Lana and be able to catch up again?"

She moved further into their place and heard the doors to the balcony close as she went into the bedroom to start getting ready for bed. When she didn't hear anything for a moment, she glanced over to see what Clark was doing and where exactly he was. He was leaning in the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest, one foot crossed in front of the other and resting on the toe of his red boot, his cape moving slightly from the light breeze coming from their ceiling fan.

Clark's gaze pinned hers and Lois found herself swallowing, unable to look away. Her heart rate picked up again and Clark tilted his head slightly toward her and a puzzled frown marred his handsome features. As he pushed off the doorway and started in her direction, Lois knew she was in trouble. Thinking back over the night, she realized she had been anything but subtle and she knew Clark would demand to know why. In a panic, she grabbed up her usual nightwear after a football game, his old high school jersey, and raced to the bathroom. "I call first dibs on the bathroom!" She slammed the door shut and heard him sigh on the other side of it.

Leaning against the doorway, Lois felt the tears she had been holding back all night fill her eyes. She slapped her hand to her mouth to muffle a sob and moved to sit down on the toilet lid. Propping her elbows on her knees, she grabbed the towel off the rack and pressed it to her face to bury her cries in it. She cried for the fact that she had thought her happy life would continue that way forever, for the fact that it had only taken one time of seeing Lana for Clark to take her back in his arms, and for the fact that apparently she had been his second choice just as she had always secretly feared.

She sobbed harder at the realization that Clark Kent had become the world to her. He had shown her the world from a completely different perspective, and she didn't mean just when he took her flying. Lois was crazy about him and, for a while, Lois had been blissfully happy being his wife. A horrible thought caused her to stop crying for a minute. What if he had been simply putting up with her for years? What if he had been miserable inside but she had been so happy, she had been blind to it? What if Clark had been using his super hearing as an excuse to get away from her at times?

Her dark thoughts were interrupted by a wrap at the door. "Lo? You ok?" Clark sounded concerned. She must not have been as quiet as she thought, or he had been listening.

Quickly standing and flushing the toilet, Lois cleared her throat and turned on the water in the sink. "Yeah, great! Fabulous! Couldn't be better! I'll be out in a minute!" She looked in the mirror and sighed at her reflection. "Ok, Lois, you can do this! You're a Lane and Lanes don't wimp out and they don't cry. Pull yourself together!" she whispered. Nodding, she washed her face and brushed her teeth. Finishing up, she turned to the door, took a deep breath and pulled on a bathrobe. Now she was ready to face the love of her life…to give him up.


	4. Chapter 4

**Unfulfilled Wishes**

Disclaimer: I also own nothing to do with Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman.

A/N: **I'm so sorry this is so late. I've been having computer problems and work has been crazy.** Ok, I started to answer reviews by PM but I thought others might have some of the same concerns so I'm addressing the fb here. First, I want to say thanks for your time in reading my story and telling me how you're feeling about it, as well as for marking it as a favorite or for story or author alerts. That's all very flattering. In the last part, I know Lois seemed a little…um, over the top even for her, but remember that part was told from **Lois's** POV and I will be addressing that concern here in this part. For those mad at Clark, we will see how he was seeing things during the evening just a bit. I'm going on the assumption here that no matter what species he is, Clark is a guy and they can be a little, hmm, oblivious sometimes, but also just because we as women over think things and over analyze them, doesn't mean that's how they are. Does that make sense? Hopefully, I'll clear all that up in this part. Also, I'm borrowing a story line from L&C in this part. If you were a fan, you'll pick it up pretty quickly.

Below, I address everyone's fb and I thank everyone for your honest opinions and comments. Please keep them coming. To those lurking, feel free to let me know how you are enjoying (or not) my story.

**LoisNClark4Ever**, thanks so much for your enthusiastic support! I started chapter 3 with a totally different idea of how it would go but that's what came out and I know I had said other things would be in it so I was hoping not to disappoint. I know when I read the final draft, trying to see it from the perspective as a reader, I thought I might have overdone Lois a little or didn't leave enough clues about some things but I'm really trying not to spoil it. Embarrassing as it is to admit, I always play my parts out, putting myself in the role of the characters the writers have given us and be true to them, while giving it my own spin. If I can't see it, I don't write it or I rewrite it. I thought about Clark breaking the door down and coming after Lois too, but honestly, I don't see him doing that. I see him taking his time, waiting for his wife to tell him what's going on and then swooping in when she doesn't. I also don't see him spying on her in their own home for fear of her wrath, lol. All in all, I'm glad you enjoyed it and I'm writing as fast as my life and muse allow. Let me know if you like how it turns out.

**HMF**, thank you so much for your honest opinion of how this is going! I understand why you don't like Lois' insecurities as they do seem a bit extreme but hopefully, I'll explain them to your satisfaction. If not, feel free to let me know. I can take it. As to the show, I think the writers this season, and maybe even last season, have decided to try to move some things too fast, taking things for granted because they want to hit the highlights as this is the last season. I'm sure the Lana situation would have been addressed. I hated "Abandoned". Clark was very cold towards Lois about her mother and we didn't see what he did about the orphans really. I guess that's what fanfic is for, to fill in the holes. Lol.

**IMAGINE0261 and Jenasaur**, thanks so much for your fb and please continue to let me know how you are enjoying it!

, I think it's funny that you specifically stated in your fb you thought I wrote Lois well and in character when two other people said basically the opposite. Lol Thank you! I'm hoping that the other 2 will change their minds by the end of the story, but if not, that's ok too. I welcome all comments. I hope you too will enjoy and continue to let me know what you think.

**Alexindigo**, wow! Kinda harsh on poor Clark aren't you? After all, despite his powers, he can't read Lois's mind and he is a man. Besides, you were only seeing things from Lois' side. Give him a chance before you go hunting for kryptonite. Lol. You think Lois was being noble huh? Hmm. It would seem that way. I'm sorry this was hard for you to read. Hopefully, it won't be as painful as you fear. Let's see how Clark handles the situation. Have you ever let your imagination get the better of you? I have, and I think most people have at one time or another. Even when I wrote it, I thought Lois was overreacting but then, I know the reasons why and why it would seem that way even more. As for Bruce and Ollie, sigh, might get more help from Chloe for that. Guys tend to stick together, especially when they don't get what's going on. Lol. As to the past between Lois and Clark about Lana, yeah, I will be showing that scene in a flashback. Hope it lives up to expectations.

**Imhooked**, aww! Somebody pass the tissues! Lol. Don't cry! I'm all about happy endings for CLois! I promise I'll fix it. Hopefully, this was soon enough. My life is way too full.

**Seersha**, first, I want to say thank you for your long review and honest opinion. If I was just reading this with no idea of where it was going, I'd agree with you 100%. Lois was written a little out of character as she wouldn't have married Clark if she wasn't completely sure, at least we hope not. However, I looked back over the early part of this season and Homecoming made me mad about the Lana thing. Lois' face certainly showed insecurity there and even hope that Lana wouldn't show up. Also saw her insecurities a bit when she was talking to Clark on the porch in Patriot (I think) about her mother having to watch her father leave on missions and her trying to find her place on the team. Yeah, they worked most, if not all of that out but that was just this season. I'm not entirely convinced that Lois doesn't have any personal issues about being exactly what Clark needs, especially if she found out about Lana's suit and that Lana could help Clark "in the field". That said, I'll address your concerns about Lois' thinking, I promise. Give it a chance and please let me know if I cleared it all up or you're still not entirely happy. I only become a better writer by knowing how my work is coming out. I'm glad you're giving Clark a chance and waiting to see more of the story. We'll see how he's thinking about all of this. I'm glad you're enjoying it and I'm trying to keep the characters real and not ridiculously evil or good so it's difficult to believe. I didn't want to make Lana the bad guy just because I like CLois together. Anyway, keep me on my toes and please keep your reviews coming! Loved the detailed fb. Thank you.

**Sasslady**, see I think Lois has always been an overreactor. (Is that a real word? Lol) She seems to kind of flip out about stuff a little first, then calms down and thinks about things, especially relationship issues. I mean, every time she and Clark were getting closer, she ran off, Mexico, Egypt, you name it. However, it was a bit over the edge, even for her, here. Thank you for your review and understanding that as the issues about Lana were never completely resolved, they could pop up again someday. So you want Clark to let her have it huh? Hmmm. Think I might be able to arrange a little of that. Lol. Thanks again and let me know if you like how it turns out!

**Before we begin the new part, I couldn't believe how well the Prophecy episode helped feed into where I was going with this on Lois' side of things. So there are spoilers for Prophecy. I was almost done writing this part when I saw it and went ahead and tied it in. No matter what happens in the last episode, I will be ending this from here on out my way.  
**

Chapter 4

Clark sighed as Lois ran into the bathroom and slammed the door. What was going on in that beautiful head of hers? She had been acting strange all evening, even for her. What was with all that stuff about how wonderful Lana was and trying over and over to leave them alone together? Not to mention pulling away from him every time he tried to touch her. If he didn't know better, Clark would have thought she was trying to get him and Lana back together. But that was ridiculous. He was very happy in their marriage and she was too, or if she wasn't she sure had done a good job of fooling him into thinking she was. And she just couldn't fool him like that; she wasn't that good an actress. As he went over the evening in his head, he remembered Lois asking if Lana was still single and Lana's response. He knew that Lana wished she had a relationship with someone the same way he had with Lois. It was part of what they had talked about. He was just relieved that Lana was good with not having that kind of relationship with _him_.

Could that have been it? Lois was already a bit sensitive to public displays of affection but could she have been pulling away and trying to relive memories of the past so that Lana wouldn't feel so left out or so alone? Clark frowned. Maybe, but as he thought over the evening he found that that reason didn't quite explain everything. It certainly didn't explain why Lois was still shutting him out and hiding in the bathroom crying. Yes, he knew she was crying. He heard her muffled sobs, and his heart ached and urged him to do something about it, to make it stop, but he didn't understand where they were coming from. He didn't know why she was crying and he didn't understand why all of a sudden Lois wasn't talking to him.

It had been a long and strange night and as it had gone on, even Lana had questioned what was going on. When Lois had been absorbed in the game a couple of times, he and Lana had held whispered conversations about Lois' behavior. Both of them had found it odd, and Lana had asked if this was a reoccurring performance or perhaps Lois always acted a little strange at football games. When Clark had denied it, they tried to covertly come up with possible reasons for her actions and words. The conversations hadn't gotten them very far but then again, they weren't exactly lengthy or even able to openly try to figure it all out. Now he was even more confused and a little disheartened.

"Is Lois trying to convince me that you're Mr. Wonderful and to see what I could have had or what? I don't get it, Clark. What's her angle?" Lana asked when Lois had taken one of her trips back to the concession stand or bathroom…he had lost track of which it was this time.

Frowning, Clark shook his head. "I'm not sure. It's not like her to be mean about stuff like that," he murmured, looking down the way his wife had disappeared. At Lana's puzzled expression, he elaborated. "I mean, she doesn't rub things in people's faces, either their mistakes or their losses or what she has that they don't."

As a realization had hit him, his lips thinned into a straight line but he kept his suspicions to himself. He didn't want to voice his thoughts aloud in case he was wrong and make his wife look like an insecure nut, especially in front of his ex-girlfriend. Then he used his super-vision to locate his wife and noticed that she downed a cup of something he was pretty sure was beer before she headed back to the stands with a tray of three more, one for each of them. Thinking back on it, Lana had declined hers and Lois had shrugged and drank that one as well.

When he had questioned her a couple of minutes ago, her heart rate had jumped and she was unable to meet his eyes, not that she wouldn't have had trouble with that anyway considering…but why didn't she talk to him? For years, there had been no secrets, no walls, nothing between them. They talked and laughed, argued and made up, he helped her soar into the heights above and she helped keep him grounded to the earth below their feet. They were the best of friends and he couldn't breathe sometimes for the love that would overwhelm him.

He had frowned at the fear and sorrow in her eyes and at the way her heart had jumped. He had hoped to be able to wait patiently and she would open her heart to him when she was ready, but now he realized that track might not work this time. Having decided that he would just have to coax her into talking to him, he had pushed off the doorway, slowly but with deliberation started towards her but sighed when she dove into the bathroom.

As he heard her gasp a little sob, he moved to the door and rested his forehead against it. "Lo, you ok?" he asked with a light knock. Her muffled answer and scrambling made him inexplicably angry. Why wouldn't she just talk to him for heaven's sake?

Getting an idea, he rushed around the apartment at super speed, in and out with all the little details he wanted to get right, before standing against the wall outside the bathroom door so he could see her face at what he had done when she came out. He grinned. He knew Lois Lane, sometimes even better than she knew herself, and he knew his preparations would be a definite start in getting her to talk to him. He heard the water shut off and crossed his arms over his chest, waiting somewhat impatiently for her to open the door and come out.

Lois opened the door to the bathroom, started to storm out, only to stop short at the sight before her. There were candles everywhere. Rose petals were strewn all over the room. The scent of roses and her favorite scent of jasmine filled the air. There was a bottle of sparkling cider and two glasses on the small table by the chair by the balcony. A box holding her favorite chocolates sat by the cider. A beautiful bouquet of flowers including roses and other gorgeous varieties sat on the nightstand on her side of the bed. The bedcovers were pulled back invitingly. Soft music floated throughout the room, completing the atmosphere.

His wife's gasp of surprise and the sparkle of tears caught by the candlelight in her eyes were all that Clark could have hoped for. The drop of her shoulders and the air of deflation about her had him scooping her up in his arms in a heartbeat. With a small burst of speed, suddenly they were in the large easy chair that sat by the balcony, Lois held gently but firmly across Clark's lap. His legs were propped up on the ottoman.

Gently brushing a lock of hair out of her face, Clark studied her. "Your reaction was worth that tiny effort it took to put all this together," he murmured. At her brief smile, his heart squeezed. God he loved her!

As he leaned in for a kiss, however, Lois tensed, and with a large yawn, she tried to jump off his lap. "This was really sweet, Clark, but I'm really tired. I guess I'm not the party animal I thought I was."

He held her firmly in place, however, much to her consternation. Clark shook his head at her. "Nuh uh, neither of us gets to climb into that nice soft bed until we've hashed this out, Lois."

Lois decided to feign ignorance. Maybe if he couldn't put his finger on something specific, he would let the subject drop and they could go to bed. Not that she expected to be able to get much sleep. "Hash what out? Something on your mind, Smallville?" she asked, moving her hair to avoid direct eye contact.

Clark smirked at her and tapped his ear. "Your heart rate just jumped, Lo. You can't fool me. You know exactly what I'm talking about. What was with you tonight? You disappeared more times during that game than I do in an entire work week to save people!"

His sexy wife snorted. "Puhleeze. Don't think you could have picked a bigger exaggeration. Every time I left the seats, it was for a legitimate reason."

"Don't try to change the subject, Lois Lane. You kept disappearing and then when you were there, you were acting so strange. I would put it down to alcohol but I don't think that explains all of it." Clark shook his head at her a small smile on his face.

Lois's back straightened in defiance and she looked him dead in the eyes, or at least as close as she was able to do so. "Clark Kent, are you implying that I'm drunk? I'll have you know that I did not have that many beers!"

Raising an eyebrow he gave her a knowing look. "Lois, I saw you tonight. I'm not sure that you even noticed how many beers you drank. I saw you down one by the stands before getting another one to bring back to the seats at least once, but I'm sure it wasn't the only time you did that. In the stands alone, you drank six of those beers. I know they were a little small but counting that one I saw you sneak, I know that's at least seven." When she bit the corner of her lower lip and looked off to the side, he pressed his point. "Do you remember the last time you got really drunk and you swore that short blonde cop was hitting on me?"

Lois scowled. "I still say she was!"

"Lois, she was sitting with her girlfriend and they were talking about their commitment ceremony! She had no interest whatsoever in me or any other male on the planet! Every time you have too much to drink you talk out of your head and you know it. It was why you asked me to watch you and once I saw you hit tipsy, to switch you to non-alcoholic drinks. I tried tonight to do that but I was either too late in catching the signs or you grabbed more beers later. Remember when I came back to the stands with the popcorn and brought you a Coke?" Clark reminded her.

She grimaced and he decided to get the subject back on the original track now that his point had been made. "But even with the alcohol effects, you have something going on in that head. From the moment you saw Lana, your entire behavior changed…multiple times. It was like one minute you were ready to do battle, for what reason only you could know, the next she was your long lost best friend, and then you acted like you thought you were in the way of Lana and I. I don't get it and I want to know what you're thinking. Despite all of the things I can do…all my abilities, I can't read your mind. Just talk to me, Lo!" he begged.

Lois swallowed hard and looked down at her hands which were occupied playing with her wedding ring set. Her thinking was a little muddy right now and she resented the fact that her husband was probably right about the beer. She had thought she was pleasantly buzzed earlier but the pounding that was starting in her head told her she had drank more than she had realized. "Could I get some water please?" she asked softly.

There was a soft whoosh, she was placed in the chair and suddenly Clark was sitting on the ottoman in front of her, a large glass of water and some pain meds in his hands. "Here, take these. They'll help ward off the headache. If you feel like you're going to be sick, let me know."

She shook her head, grimaced at the increase in pain and stopped, popping the pills and downing half the glass. "No, I'm not that bad but thanks for the aspirin." Lois took a moment to gather her thoughts. "I just thought I should step out of the way so that you and Lana could finally be together," she told him quietly.

Clark looked at her incredulously. "Excuse me? I know that usually I hear better than any human on the planet but I'm pretty sure I heard you wrong. There's no way you just said you thought Lana and I belong together." He must have misunderstood her. If Lois had just said she was leaving and joining the circus to become a clown, Clark couldn't have felt more shocked.

This time when Lois tried to stand up, Clark allowed her to and watched as she started pacing, slower and a little less gracefully than normal but still pacing. "Clark, I know you and Lana had something special, and when she told me that she still had her abilities but without the Kryptonite side effects, I knew I should step aside. I won't hold you to our marriage." She stopped pacing and faced her husband, chin high and shoulders back, but her eyes would not quite meet his.

The look on Clark's face would have been comical if not for the conversation they were having. His head was tilted towards her direction from watching her pace. His eyes were widened in surprise, his eyebrows tilted towards each other in confusion, and his mouth was hanging open as if he wasn't quite sure what to say. It was a look of disbelief, horror and confusion all in one. Seemingly snapping back to attention, his eyes narrowed and he folded his arms across his chest leaning back a little.

"Just so I understand you correctly, you were just trying to do what you thought was the noble thing tonight and let me go?" he asked. She nodded. "So that I could be with Lana?" he added almost as a statement instead of a question. Again, Lois nodded. He stood up slowly, arms still folded and stood in front of her. "B-S, Lois! B-S!"

Clark's voice was dangerously low and if Lois hadn't known him as well as she did, she might have missed the edge of anger in his tone. His words, however, shocked her. Her arms automatically folded in front of her and she threw her head back to look at him. "Excuse me?"

"I'm not buying it. You might be able to sell that load of crap to a lot of people; you might even be able to fool yourself with it but I'm not buying. We had a conversation about this sort of thing a long time ago. Do you remember it? Do you remember that woman who came forward claiming that she had Superman's love child?" Clark asked, his voice rising a little.

He stepped towards her and Lois automatically took a small step back and moved her hands to her hips. "What the hell does that have to do with the price of beans?" she asked.

She remembered that time all too well. It was a pretty painful experience and one of the few times in their marriage where she doubted Clark's honesty and integrity. They were watching TV one night and on every news channel there the story was, a woman claiming to have been Superman's lover and had his son. It would be easily dismissed normally. There were always people out there trying to get their 15 minutes of fame by using Superman's name and goodness. This woman, however, had a son who could lift a refrigerator over his head and move at super speed. His mother, on the other hand, was just another normal human.

Lois and Clark hadn't been married long when it happened. Clark had sworn that he had never met the woman and Lois had been quick to believe him, until she had met the little boy in person and seen what he could do. That was when the doubts had been harder to keep out of her head and her heart. She knew he had slept with Lana and she wasn't sure about Alicia, she had never asked, but she thought that had been it. Maybe it wasn't. She had tried to tell him that if he was just honest with her, they could work it out. He had gotten mad at that and they had had a big fight. He had stayed out all night and she had cried the whole night. She wanted to believe him but she had a history with other men before them and she just wanted the truth. They investigated as reporters interested in the story, but in reality, it was important to them personally for different reasons that they find out the truth.

It turned out the little boy had been on an airplane that Superman saved from crashing. Clark and the plane had been hit by lightning and it somehow transferred some of Clark's abilities to the little boy temporarily. They wore off pretty quickly. In the end, their relationship had some bruises but they were stronger for the whole situation. Lois could remember the night everything had been cleared up and they were back at home.

She had been in the shower and Clark had gone and picked up some take out and had lit candles and had soft music playing then…very similar to the setting he had done now. She had smiled at everything and then her eyes met his and she saw the love shining in them. He had taken her in his arms and started swaying to the music, holding her close. Wrapping her left arm around his neck, Lois' right hand was held by his left over his heart. The hurt in his eyes got to her and she frowned a little, knowing that she had been the one who put it there.

"_Clark, I'm sorry. I know I should have believed you when you told me you hadn't slept with her, but I didn't want you to think you had to hide it from me if you did. I understand we had separate lives before we got together. Then, too, the kid could bench-press a car. He had to have gotten the powers from somewhere," she told him quietly. Laying her head on his chest, she listened to his strong heartbeat._

_He didn't answer for a minute. "I can see how it would have been hard to believe he wasn't mine. He even looked like he could have been with those blue eyes and dark hair, but that's not what hurts the most." He waited for her to pull back enough to look up at him. "Lo, you didn't believe in us. You seemed like you were so ready to give it all up…that it would be so easy to just walk away. I thought you knew we were worth more than that."_

_Lois gave him a soft smile and looked at where their hands were clasped together. "It might have looked that way…I might have even told _myself_ that I could walk away if you asked me to, but the truth is…" she looked back into his eyes, "I'd never be able to do it. I need you too much. I love you, Clark Kent, and I'll kick anybody's ass that tries to come between us." Clark saw the truth in her eyes and she meant every word she said._

Coming back to herself, she gave a nervous glance at her husband. Clark was nodding. "Yeah, I see you remember it now. You meant it then, Lois, and I still think you mean it. You couldn't walk away from us. I still think you would kick anyone's ass that came between us. I can only think this was a test to see how I would react and if I had gone for it, it would have been my rear-end you would be kicking."

Turning around, she wrapped her arms around herself. Lois looked down at the floor as tears filled her eyes again and she shook her head. "This is different. This is Lana Lang we're talking about. I knew she was different to you, even when we got together. Do you remember when I tried to talk to you about her when we were engaged? You wouldn't open up to me…you wouldn't talk to me."

Clark's memories of that horrible time of their relationship came back to him involuntarily. It had been after Jor-El had given Lois his powers for a day. The night before they were supposed to be married everyone was waiting for them at the rehearsal dinner, and Lois had told him that she couldn't do it. That she loved him but she couldn't marry him. He had stood there, stunned, as she ran out of Watchtower and went who knows where.

_Lois' words reverberated in his head, playing over and over. "I'm so sorry, Clark, but I can't marry you." He sat in a chair in Watchtower seeing her face as she cried and gave him back her ring. That had been a couple of hours ago. Tess had come looking for them, taken one look at Clark, and had quietly left again. No one else had bothered him._

_He had just let her walk away. Why hadn't he held onto her? Why hadn't he told her the truth…that he needed her more than he needed his next breath? That without her, he couldn't do what he had to do, he couldn't be out there protecting others without her to come home to? Clark still sat there, the clock ticking away. He turned the ring over and over in his fingers, the diamond catching the light. Suddenly, he was angry…angry at Jor-El, angry at the world that he couldn't ignore anymore, angry at his abilities that enabled him to help people when others couldn't, angry at the evil in the world, angry at himself for letting her just leave, and even angry at Lois for leaving._

_Jumping up, Clark sped back to their apartment but found that Lois had left, taking most of her personal belongings with her, including the White Snake pillow. He tried calling her cell phone but it was turned off. He tried calling Chloe but she hadn't heard from Lois either and she was a bit worried. Clark was at a loss. He sped to the Daily Planet but she wasn't there either. Now he was almost frantic to find her. The more time passed, the more she could talk herself into this being the right thing to do. Where could she have gone?_


	5. Chapter 5

**Unfulfilled Wishes**

OMG! I had no idea so much time had passed! I am sssssoooooo sorry it's so long between chapters but time gets away from me before I know it and I do work two jobs. Not to mention having some internet problems and several friends have died in the last month or so. Anyway, let me address feedback before we get into the new part. Most of these, if not all, were sent out to everyone individually as well but just in case you missed it…

**Hotchocolate329, **I know! Doesn't it seem a little crazy for Lois to be trying to fix up her hubby? The alcohol was an obvious contributing factor but something else is going on here. Hopefully, I'll explain it all satisfactorily before it's all said and done. Thanks for your comments!

**Imhooked, JamesTKent, Spitfire Mcguire, LoTS-Fanatic, CloisCharah and Spoons There Are**, thanks so much for leaving your thoughts and feedback! I'm glad you are enjoying it. I hope you continue to do so and let me know what you think.

**LoisNClark4Ever, **Thank you so much for your high praise! I'm so pleased you are enjoying it and are able to see it played out. I guess having two younger siblings and two goofy but lovable parents helps me not to get embarrassed over much anymore. At least I know I'm not the only goofball out there! lol. Anyway, thanks again and please continue to let me know if I'm able to keep up the good job, in your opinion of course.

**Alexindigo,** thanks for your detailed feedback. It makes it nice to see what parts of my story people caught and what made sense for readers. I'm glad you like the way I'm handling the Smallville interpretation of CLana. I thought they dragged it out entirely too long as well as took it too far for comfort. Don't get me wrong, I think they did a good job with CLois but still, considering how far the CLana relationship went, I thought Clark might have been a little more hesitant of letting Lois in. Maybe they were working on the assumption that Clark recognized the differences in the two relationships. I agree with you about the reaction of Lois being due to the responsibility Clark has but I'm going with an idea that Lois didn't really know up to that point just how far the CLana relationship went. He asked Lana to marry him for goodness' sakes! That would be a definite insecurity for me. It says something about how deep his feelings went, or at least how far he thought they went. Yes, Toyman's mention of Lana was secondary, but that doesn't mean that it wouldn't stick with my Lois at least a little, especially given Lana's abilities. I'm just glad you are enjoying the ride and hopefully, you will continue to do so. Let me know one way or the other; I can take it!

**Mpj891, **thank you so much for coming out and leaving your feedback! You are so right about Clark and Lois being each other's weakness and I agree that a lot of Lois' life before she came to Smallville and even some after taught her that she could/should really rely on only one person, herself. She lost her mom, her dad wasn't around much, and she was responsible for her sister but had no one to really lean on herself. That's one of the things I liked about her, she's so strong, but it can also be a real drawback to her relationships. Thank you again and I hope you continue to enjoy!

**Gloxinia, **Thank you so much for your feedback and pointers! I went back and reworked this part after thinking about what you said and agreeing with you that I have too much description and not enough dialogue. I'm delighted that my story is the first Smallville fanfic you've read and that it has gotten you interested in reading more! That's awesome! Please continue to let me know how you are enjoying it!

Thanks to everyone else out there who is reading this and please don't hesitate to let me know what you think!

Chapter 5

_Continued flashback from Chapter 4…_

_Clark stood there, in the middle of Lois' office at the Daily Planet, trying to figure out where to look for Lois next when his ears picked up something, almost of their own accord. Crying. And it was coming from the woman he loved. Ok, so mostly he was hearing sniffles, but it was definitely Lois and she wasn't far. He focused for several minutes and…she was on the roof? Clark listened for a few more minutes until he was sure and then super-sped up to the roof._

_He paused at the door, just drinking the sight of her in. She had changed her clothes, wearing a pair of jeans and a tank top with one of his plaid shirts worn like a jacket, open with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. Her hair was in a ponytail and she was sitting on the ledge, her feet planted firmly on the rooftop, her face turned away from him, but she was still too close to the edge for his comfort._

_Clark let the door to the building close, trying not to startle her, but she didn't give any indication that she had heard him. He stepped closer, slowly, ready at any second to spring to her if she looked in any way like she might fall. "Lois?" he called softly._

_Sniffling pretty loudly, Lois wiped at her face with a tissue she had balled up in her hand. He gave a small smile at the sight. Lois always said she hated crying, if for no other reason than because she wasn't a pretty crier. She wasn't the beauty with a single tear running down her face, makeup perfectly in place. She always complained that she got all red and blotchy, her sinuses closed up and she couldn't breathe and her eyes swelled up. As she turned to face him, he could tell she had been crying that way, with all the pain in her heart on display. His heart went out to her in return._

_She gave another couple of sniffles and a huff of self-depreciating laughter. "I didn't know where to go," she told him, looking down at her hands that were wringing the tissue after glancing over at a corner of the roof. Clark followed her line of sight and saw a pile of her things, not all of them, but enough to make up one load she could carry up the stairs. "I realized there wasn't anywhere on the planet I could go where you couldn't find me if you wanted to."_

_Moving slowly over to her again, Clark stopped about six feet away from her. "Then come home, Lo. Come back with me and we'll talk this out. We can work anything out if we work on it together," he pleaded softly. When she shook her head, he moved slowly towards her again. "I love you, Lois Lane, and I want to marry you…I've already told you that it didn't matter when- tomorrow, or five years from now. You can't get rid of me that easily."_

_Lois started sobbing again, her head dropping between her shoulders. Clark dropped to his knees in front of her and covered her hands with one of his own. His other hand moved to cup her face and lift it so that he could look into her eyes. The pain in them broke his heart. If Jor-El weren't already dead and just a super-computer…and don't get him started on Toyman! "Oh, Lois," he whispered. He leaned closer to kiss her but she pulled away, getting up and walking away from him a little, lifting her chin up higher._

_Clark's arms crossed over his chest as he stood to face her. "Why do you keep running away from me? From us?" he asked, exasperated._

_Spinning around, Lois gave him a disbelieving look. "Do you think this is _easy_ for me? I love you more than I can say, but damn it, Clark, my head is so full of doubts, fears and questions that I can't think straight! In the last day and a half, I have learned so much about you…things that I could never have imagined, and I have to wonder, what else don't I know about you? I know that I asked you a lot of questions before about things that have come up over the years - the Phantom Zone, Doomsday, and so much more - but there will always be things about you that, even if you told me the answers, I could never understand or I could never help you with." Lois huffed a little and sniffed, squaring her shoulders. "And if Lana Lang could be strong enough and love you enough to know when to walk away and give you up, then so can I. I'm at least strong enough to do that."_

_Clark's arms dropped to his side in his confusion. "Lana? What does she have to do with any of this?"_

_Lois' shrugged slightly and shook her head. "Toyman mentioned her."_

"_Toyman? Lois, what did he say to you?" Clark asked, worried about whatever lies his nemesis might have told her._

_Lois shook her head. "Nothing really, and normally I wouldn't pay any attention. He just said that Lana, your first love, had been willing to sacrifice everything for you, to keep your secret. That was all that was said about Lana, and I don't know much about all that, but with everything else that happened, well, all I know is that I love you, and I can't be the one who stands in the way of you doing what you can…what you __**have**__ to do for the world."_

_Clark's head was reeling, as he tried to figure out what to say... what words he could use to tell her what was in his heart. It had been a long day; one that had been an emotional roller coaster, and he was tired and frustrated. How could he explain to her how much she meant to him, how much he needed her? He understood what she was trying to say, even respected her wanting to do the right thing, her unselfish gift to others in being willing to give him up._

_"Lois, doing the right thing can be a powerful motivator, and helping others whenever I can is very rewarding. But an even more powerful motivator is the knowledge that I'm making the world a safer place for the people I care about most... Chloe, mom, Oliver, Dinah, AC... __**you. **__Every time I go out there, saving someone else, I do my best because I want my friends and family to be safe and to be proud of me. I also want to be able to look at myself in the mirror. If I spend my entire life saving or helping others, having nothing and no one for myself, I would burn out pretty quickly. My motivation of doing the right thing would be too heavy a burden to carry, and I would resent having to do it. Can you understand that? I need you... you keep me grounded, focused, and on the right path." He gave her half a smile. "Not to mention that I love you. Can you accept that? Can you understand that?"_

_Her eyes studied his face for what felt like hours. She nodded slowly. "I understand that you need friends, and I understand you need a life of your own... but being so close to one person makes you vulnerable, gives your enemies a weakness to use against you. I couldn't live with myself, couldn't look at myself in the mirror or face you every day knowing that I was that weakness. Could you honestly say you wouldn't resent me or be disappointed in me every time you heard of some disaster you failed to advert, because I was the distraction that kept you from it or the hostage someone used against you to bend you to their will?"_

_As Clark struggled with how to answer, Lois's thoughts took a different direction. She sniffed again, shuffling her feet and looking down at the ground. "Clark... what did happen between you and Lana while I was in Star City with Jimmy? When I left, you were at the hospital with her after that thing attacked everyone at Jimmy and Chloe's wedding, and when I came back, she was gone and no one ever said a word about her."_

_Memories of that time threatened to overwhelm him and he was already struggling with the way to tell her exactly how he felt. The anger he felt at Lex Luthor for putting him and Lana through what they had gone through…the pain of having to say goodbye to what he had thought was the love of his life…it was all too much and he reacted out of fear of losing Lois. His hands clenched into fists at his side and he walked over to the edge of the roof and looked down at the city. "Nothing. Lana just had to leave and let's leave it at that alright?"_

_Lois faltered back a step. He had never used a tone like that before. It was a mixture of anger, grief, fear, hurt and denial. Suddenly, she was angry too. Didn't he understand what she was feeling right now? Vulnerable would be one word to describe part of it, and she hated that feeling. He was one of the few people she had ever allowed to see her that way. Now here he was holding back something important from her._

_"No it's not all right! Clark, you say you want to share your life with me, that you want us to be together, to be __**married.**__.. But you won't share your deepest feelings with me!"_

_At her impassioned, pleading tone, Clark whirled around to face her, worried about where she would go with this. Lois took a deep breath and wrapped her arms around herself, her eyes closing as she tried to gather her wits about her. When she opened her eyes again, Clark saw she had erected a wall between them, and it scared him. He took a step toward her, but before he could say anything, she spoke again. "Clark, Lana is an important part of your past... one of the few I know very little about and one you have chosen not to share with me. I can respect that... but... I can't live with it. Not the way you're asking me to. I'm sorry."_

_The finality in her words, along with her deliberate movements to leave, finally snapped Clark into action. She was serious. If he didn't do something quickly, she was going to leave, this time maybe for good. Using his super speed, he whisked her into his arms, and after an internal debate with himself, sped them to the loft in the barn on the farm. Instinctively, Lois had wrapped her arms around Clark's neck, hanging on as they sped along. Now that they had stopped, they stared into each other's eyes for a moment before Clark gave her a gentle squeeze and lowered her to her feet._

_"I'll tell you what I can," he whispered, his eyes pleading for her understanding. "Just please don't walk away from me... us."_

_Her eyes softened and she shook her head slightly. "Clark, I wasn't giving you an ultimatum. I get that whatever happened between you and Lana must've been a bad experience," she whispered back, her fingers combing through his hair at the nape of his neck. "But how can you…__**we**__ move toward the future if you can't move beyond the past... can't even __**talk**__ about it with me?"_

_He took her hands in his squeezing them gently before moving away to stand at the loft window and look out at the world. For a moment, he could almost hear Lana's tears and his own voice as he pleaded with her to stay... that they would find a way to be together again. Taking a deep breath, his eyes closed and he tried desperately to hold back the flood of memories so that he could tell Lois the story that would hopefully keep her by his side for the future._

_"When Lana came back, I'm not sure she intended to stay. She had discovered that Lex was working on an invisible suit, made up of millions of tiny nanites that would give him super human abilities. She had stolen all of his research and hidden it in the Isis Foundation. She even enlisted the help of the scientist that helped to create the suit. I don't know what she went through to get that suit on, but it must've been pretty traumatic from the hints that she gave."_

_Clark gave a slight huff before turning around to face Lois with a slight smile. "The suit seemed to work great. Lana was just as fast as I was, seemingly just as powerful, and indestructible. We should've known that anything designed by Lex Luthor would be trouble. We worked together for a little while, helping to save people, and it was great... but then we noticed something strange. When we were investigating the bomb that went off at Luthor Corps, we found a piece of kryptonite. When Lana touched it, the suit did something strange. We weren't sure at the time what it did, but it seemed to neutralize the kryptonite."_

_He glanced at Lois to find her completely absorbed in his story, but at his last statement several emotions flickered across her face so quickly that Clark couldn't process them before they were gone. It was too much... he couldn't tell what was going through her mind. Trying not to get bogged down in the rest of the story, he decided to rush through it as quickly as possible. "It turned out that the suit was designed as a weapon against me. It wasn't neutralizing the kryptonite, it was __**absorbing **__it."_

_Seeing her confused expression, Clark focused on the facts, trying to block out the emotion behind the story. "Lex had been monitoring us. We didn't know it at first, but then, he designed a bomb and placed it on top of the Daily Planet building. It was big enough to destroy most, if not all, of Metropolis, and it was made with kryptonite. The only way to neutralize the bomb was for Lana to use the suit to absorb the kryptonite."_

_He waited for moment for the implications of what he had told her to sink in. When it did and her eyes widened, he nodded. "Yeah, if she absorbed the kryptonite, we were through. We could never be together... hell, we couldn't even be in the same room again. But what else could we do? We couldn't let millions of innocent people die... we couldn't be that selfish. We both knew it, but Lana accepted it faster than I did. So she did the only thing we could do. She neutralized the bomb, we said goodbye, and she left." He shrugged. "So that's it; that's the whole story."_

_Stepping over to stand in front of Lois, Clark took both her hands in his and looked deep into her eyes. The doubt he saw reflected in them made his chest ache, and the distance he still recognized there broke his heart. "Lois, don't you see? Lana and I can never be together; we're through," he whispered._

_Lois heard his words, heard what he was saying... but more importantly, she heard what he wasn't saying. He was holding back from her, leaving out a great deal, but she wondered if he even realized it. The saying, "the devil is in the details," popped into her mind. What important details was he leaving out? It wasn't that he was lying to her; she just knew there was a lot more to the story than he was letting on. She bit her lower lip in thought while allowing him to continue._

_"And I miss having someone working side-by-side with me." He gave her half a smile and ducked his head. Letting go of one hand, he reached up and brushed a stray lock of hair out of her eyes. "Lois, you and I make a great team... in more ways than one. We work well together, and I don't just mean at the Daily Planet. I want you by my side, sharing the future with me. Please, __**please **__don't walk away from us. Stay with me... be my partner... marry me." He wrapped one arm around her waist, drawing her close while the other hand threaded through her hair, bringing her lips to fuse with his._

Back to present...

Clark wasn't the only one wrapped up in the emotional memories of that time in their life together. Lois sniffled and wiped away the stray tears that kept falling down her face. As their eyes met and held, all of the fear and pain and anxiety of that time began to bubble up to the surface, and Lois was powerless to fight it. Over the few years of their marriage, Lois had buried her fears deeper and deeper until she had hoped they'd disappeared altogether. But now... now that the only thing standing in the way of Lana and Clark being together was her, Lois's emotions were in complete turmoil.

Usually, when something upset Lois, Clark was the person she turned to, the person she'd hash things out with until everything became crystal clear. How could she do that in this situation? Lois thought of her father, "the General" and how he taught her not to ever back down from a fight or a difficult situation... that the best way out of a problem was to work through it. Taking a deep and shuddering breath, she decided that complete honesty and frankness would be the only way through this. Hopefully, it would also be the least painful, and the quickest way.

Clark's face filled with concern, and his arms unfolded to start reaching for her, but she backed away. She wasn't sure how long she could hold herself together, especially if he touched her. When he started to say something, Lois raised both hands to cut him off, palms facing him. "Wait!" Taking another deep breath, she started again, this time trying to stay calm.

**A/N: I know it's short, but I've already started working on the next part, and I didn't want to wait any longer before I got out something. I hope you guys are still around, and I promise not to take so long on the next chapter. Please don't forget to leave feedback. I welcome all comments. The next chapter will probably be the end of our story. I make no guarantees, since most of my stuff tends to run on longer than I think it will.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Unfulfilled Wishes**

A/N: After rewatching most of season 10, I realized this story needed to be written more than ever. Not because I felt like Clark didn't show Lois that he loved her, but because it still never addressed the Lana issue. I had forgotten that Lois actually did ask Chloe about Lana and Clark, although I already had that thought included in my story. I hope I will be able to address all the concerns I still saw up **until** "Prophecy". (I have still the last three episodes to watch again.) Bear with me on this chapter. I started writing and Lois and Clark went crazy. LOL! I hope you like the ride. I am not addressing reviews here since I sent my responses as private messages. If I missed anyone, please forgive me. Please don't forget that feedback is how we improve and I'm not afraid of what you have to say as long as it's constructive. Thanks for reading!

**References to "Harvest"**

_From Chapter 5:_

_Clark's face filled with concern, and his arms unfolded to start reaching for her, but she backed away. She wasn't sure how long she could hold herself together, especially if he touched her. When he started to say something, Lois raised both hands to cut him off, palms facing him. "Wait!" Taking another deep breath, she started again, this time trying to stay calm._

Chapter 6

At Lois's command, Clark froze. As if he was dealing with a scared animal, Clark was afraid to move a muscle so he slowly lowered his arms and stayed where he was. He watched as she took a couple of deep breaths and waited to see what she would say. This conversation could possibly be the most important one they would have throughout their entire married life. Clark realized that quite literally, his life…_their_ life was at stake here.

"I think it's time for a little bit of open honesty here. Clark, I've waited a long time for you to tell me what happened between you and Lana. I tried asking Chloe a couple of times, but she always got this pity-filled expression on her face and never gave me any details or told me that I should talk to you about it. I've tried to be patient, thinking you would bring it up in time…I even thought I might be able to just leave it alone altogether but…all those questions and doubts about your relationship with her came back when I saw the two of you talking in the stands tonight," Lois started.

Clark looked confused for a moment but then his expression mixed with frustration. "All what doubts... what questions Lois? If I haven't brought up my relationship with Lana, it's because I've never thought that it needed bringing up. Lana and I have been over for a long time now. I thought you understood that."

Lois stared at him for a long time, searching his eyes for the truth. "You really don't know do you? You really don't get it."

Before she could continue, Clark interrupted with a frustrated huff. "No, you're right! I don't get it! I thought we were happy... you and I. These last few years, every time I've told you that I love you, did you think I was _lying_ to you? Did you not believe me? Were _you_ lying to me when you told me you loved _me_?"

Giving a little growl of her own, Lois threw her hands up in the air. "Of course not! Clark, I know you care about me..."

"_Care_ about you?" Clark asked incredulously.

But Lois continued as if she didn't hear him. "But can you honestly tell me you never loved Lana? Chloe told me that you'd been in love with her since you were _six_. You used to watch her through your telescope in the barn for heaven's sake!"

"Lois, that was _years_ ago! Everyone has a childhood crush in their past," Clark almost yelled at her, trying to make her see how ridiculous this was.

Lois froze at his words. "Childhood crush?" she repeated, her voice dangerously low. "Yeah, but there's a little bit of a difference here isn't there? I've told you about all of my past relationships... Wes, AC, Grant... hell, Smallville, I remember plenty of nights where the two of us were on one couch or another, devouring ice cream while I poured my heart out about Oliver, back in the day! The point _is_, I have told you about every _one_ of my relationships... not to torture you, but because I felt it was important for you to understand my past and how it has made me into who I am and that no matter what, I have chosen you. Out of all those relationships, you are the _one_, Clark…the man I chose to spend the rest of my life with…with no regrets.

"But _you_... you have never once told me _anything_ about your past relationships. I know there weren't many, and I know a lot about Alicia, mostly because I was around for that... but you keep that area of your life so far out of my reach, it might as well be frozen in one of those crystals in that Arctic fortress of yours." Her words ended abruptly for a moment and Clark opened his mouth to speak, but she held up a hand, again stopping him from speaking.

He studied her for a moment. This had been eating at her for a long time. Why had he not known this was in her heart? Why was he just now seeing this? Why was she just now bringing it up? He thought they talked about everything... he thought she knew that she could come to him with anything... all her hopes, her dreams, her worries, her fears. How had he not seen such a big problem between them as this?

Lois stepped over to the dresser and, opening the drawer that held her underwear, she pulled out a small box. Slamming the drawer shut, she turned around to face him, holding the box up for him to see. He was confused at first, his mind not registering what he was seeing. Then he paled as recognition kicked in and he realized what she was holding. Her hazel eyes flashed with emotion, tears of frustration and pain blinked back furiously.

At first, Clark had been so exasperated that he wanted to shake his wife until she came to her senses. His first reaction to her yelling and accusations was to start yelling right back, but the object in her hand and the look in her eyes made him freeze and his heart constrict. "Where…when did you find it?" he asked somewhat hoarsely. He swallowed convulsively as she opened it and pulled out the contents.

She didn't answer him at first. Setting the box on top of the dresser, she held the two objects that had been in the box, one in each hand. She turned the one in her right hand toward the light. "CK & LL," she read aloud. She turned the object this way and that, watching the light shine on its gold surface. "When I was cleaning out the closet yesterday, I found a box of your things stashed in the back. I didn't go through it but lost my grip on it when I was moving it and everything spilled out. The smaller box had landed on the floor open. I saw this first," she said, holding up the shiny object in her right hand, her eyes still not meeting his. "I was a little confused since I'd never seen this and it had our initials on it, but then I saw this wedged into the bottom of the box and it all suddenly became very clear." She held up the object in her left hand and turned it to face him, though he already knew what it was.

Lana's face stared back at him from the small picture that he had carried in his wallet for years. He looked at it, and his heart squeezed again as his eyes jumped back to his wife. Clark shook at the hurt and resignation in Lois' eyes. She stepped closer and took his left hand. Turning it palm up, she placed the picture in it and dropped the other object on top. It was the ring he had made when he was going to propose to Lana before he went back in time and changed things. The diamond he had made with his bare hands existed only in his memories now but the ring itself, he had found in his pocket, where it was before Lana had met him in the barn.

"Childhood crushes don't usually have the symbol for infinity and their names inscribed in gold," Lois whispered.

He looked down at the ring, its cold metal feeling foreign in his hand. Clark squared his jaw as his blue eyes jumped to hers again. He held her gaze as his voice told her strongly, "This doesn't change how I feel about you…what you mean to me, Lois."

She didn't even seem to blink…just tilting her head ever so slightly, this time waiting for him to continue. The fact that Lois was not only _not _running from this conversation, but was decidedly determined to wait for every detail told him volumes about where she stood. She was drawing a line in the sand, taking a stand. He just needed to know what she was thinking and what it was that she was _really_ after so he knew how to fight…because this was not a battle he was prepared to lose. He didn't believe for a second that this was all about his past relationships, or even Lana per se. Yes, the ring wasn't helping the situation and the timing of her finding it the day before they ran into Lana again would be laughable if it wasn't so serious. It did explain a lot about tonight, but something in his gut was telling him that this was just a symptom of the problem.

He remembered telling her once that he wanted her to know him completely, with no secrets…because she was the one for him too. Deciding that Lois was right about the need for open, honest communication here, Clark held her gaze. "What do you want to know?"

Her eyes never leaving Clark's, Lois swallowed hard. She trembled ever so slightly, suddenly afraid of what she would hear, and yet she knew this conversation was necessary. No matter what the outcome, she needed to know the truth... _all_ of it, even the parts that might just crush her. "Everything... but only everything you really want to tell me. I don't want you to feel that I'm coercing you into anything. I want to know what you _want_ to tell me."

To the average human, Lois would've appeared very calm and collected. Clark, however, was not the average human. He nodded slowly. "Okay. But I don't want to do this here... not standing here in our bedroom like this."

She nodded in agreement. "Why don't I put on a pot of coffee and we can sit in the living room or the kitchen? I have a feeling it's going to be a long night," Lois suggested.

Clark flashed a look of concern. "Are you sure you're up to this right now? I mean, I know we need to discuss this, but are you up for it tonight?"

Sighing a little tiredly, Lois nodded again, running a hand over her eyes. "Yeah, I'm okay. I don't think I can put this off any longer."

Half an hour later, Lois and Clark were seated at opposite ends of the couch facing each other, each with a cup of coffee in his or her hand. When it became obvious that Lois was waiting for Clark to begin, he took a deep breath and decided to start with Kayla and Alicia. He thought perhaps that it would help him to start with his two shortest relationships.

Lois was confused by his starting with the other two women at first. She had assumed that he would start with his relationship with Lana. When Clark pointed out to her, however, that she wanted to know everything, she sat back and listened, occasionally asking questions, but for the most part, keeping quiet. Clark held nothing back... he told her the good aspects of both relationships and the bad. He told her about his own flaws in each relationship, as well as those of both Kayla and Alicia.

As Lois listened, she was amazed at just how honest and open Clark was being. She was truly touched that he was trying to do as she asked...actually, even more than she had asked. She felt no jealousy over these two young women who had, in one way or another, found a place in his heart. The way Clark spoke about them, along with seeing his history with Lana, and admittedly herself, Lois realized that he was one who had always cared deeply for people. When Clark cared from his heart, he held nothing back. So exactly where was his heart now? Had he given it to Kayla, and then Alicia when she died? And at all times around, and even through, those relationships…in the background, there had always been Lana Lang.

She had known that the bracelet Clark had given her before they married had been something special and he had told her a little about Kayla, but now she knew the whole story and it made the gift mean so much more. Did she still have a right to it? Lois didn't dare ask for fear of the answer. She ached to be the woman meant to have it…Naman's soulmate…Clark's soulmate.

"So I guess all that leads us to Lana," Clark exhaled after taking a deep breath. He paused and started to take a sip of his coffee but frowned when he realized his mug was empty. "You want more coffee?" he asked as he stood to pour himself some.

Lois shook her head. "Any more and I'll have the shakes so bad I won't be able to type or hold anything tomorrow." She was impatient for him to continue but knew he needed a bit of a break…and so did her bladder.

A few minutes later, they were settled back on the couch, Clark with a fresh mug of coffee and Lois with a bottle of water and an empty bladder. Taking another deep breath, Clark thought back over the evening and knew that what he told her next could possibly save his marriage... or it could end it for good. He said a quick, silent prayer that he find the words to give his wife what she needed and at the same time prove once and for all that she was the love of his life. After her, there could never be anyone else. It was that simple.

With that thought firmly in mind, Clark began. "I'm not sure exactly where I should begin and how much you want to know, but I'll tell you about my relationship with Lana and you can ask me whatever you like if you think you need to know more."

Lois nodded but said nothing. She didn't think she could past the lump of fear that had formed in her throat. His whole demeanor had changed. She was right…Lana had been different. Lord, give her strength to hear this and then walk away so she wouldn't stand in the way of his happiness! She felt her breath catch a little in her lungs as her heart squeezed.

"You already know that I thought she was pretty from the first time I saw her as a kid. It wasn't until high school, though, that we started getting closer as friends," Clark started. Then he stopped, frowned, and shook his head. "No, I don't want to gloss over those early years without you knowing my feelings at that time."

He took a deep breath and started again. "First, to get what I first saw in Lana, you have to understand how my life was growing up. Friends were a foreign concept. I didn't even go to school until the second grade. My parents were terrified that I would do something people would notice and get taken away to be experimented on. I didn't have a lot of my abilities yet, but I was really strong and fast and was getting faster and stronger every day. I was almost painfully shy when I started school and was teased because I was always taller than the other boys. Pete was my only real friend until Chloe moved in, and I'm not even sure she would have been my friend if she wasn't…Chloe. She kind of insinuated herself into my life." Clark smiled at the memory of young Chloe. "Not that I would change a thing if I could go back. She was…and still is a spectacular friend."

Lois grinned at his words. "Yeah, Chlo's pretty terrific alright," she agreed. She relaxed a fraction as he started with details she hadn't thought he would even think to tell her.

Clark nodded. "As the nearest neighbors, Nell and Lana were people that I saw more often than anyone else other than my parents. I used to watch Lana play outside with her dolls, have various kinds of parties with her friends, ride her horse, and just do all these things that I didn't do. Since she was the only kid I ever saw on a regular basis, I just associated everything she did with what was..." he paused as he searched for the right word to describe how he felt.

But Lois filled in the word for him. "Normal," she whispered. His eyes darted to hers and looked so deeply that she felt he was looking straight into her soul.

Slowly he nodded. "Normal," he repeated. He looked away and cleared his throat. "But then I started school, and I realized that not everybody was like Lana. Like I said, I was teased a lot and didn't have many friends even after starting school. While I can never say that Lana and I were _friends_, she was never cruel to me like some of the other kids, and she always smelled good... maybe because she spent a lot of time with Nell at the flower shop."

Taking a sip of coffee, he paused to figure out where to go next. "As time went on and I started to fit in a little better, I picked up on how all the other kids perceived each other. It wasn't hard to figure out that Chloe, Pete and I were part of the outcasts, but not quite the bottom of the food chain. I had other people I was friendly with and would spend time with occasionally, like Greg Arkin, but there's a difference between being friends and being friendly." She nodded and he continued. "Lana, however, was popular, everyone liked her and she was so sweet. She was rarely picked on, and even when she was, there was always someone there to stick up for her."

He gave a wry smile. "Looking back on it, I guess I can see now that a lot of people might have considered her a bit spoiled. I won't disagree with that, but at the same time, while Nell might have spoiled her in some ways, she pretty much left Lana on her own so maybe her need for attention that came out now and then stemmed from that." He shook his head at the tangent his mind had taken. "Anyway, as I began to see how popular she was and how the other boys started thinking about girls, I began to realize that part of being normal was having a crush on a girl. Chloe was my friend, not a 'girl', and Lana had been around my life without really being a part of it for so long, I think I started to realize that having a crush on her would be normal."

Lois sighed a little and shook her head, wiping one hand across her eyes. "Clark, kids don't just decide to develop a crush on someone, they just do. You're talking as if you thought this through…made a list, weighed the pros and cons, and came to the conclusion to like Lana like it was a business deal. At some point you fell in love with Lana…enough to at least think about asking her to marry you."

Clark nodded a little. "Yes, you're right, normal kids don't just decide to like someone, they just do. But, Lois, I was never a normal kid. I might look human but I'm not, remember. I knew I wasn't a normal kid, and even if I had known I wasn't exactly from around here back then, I would have had no idea what a normal Kryptonian boy was supposed to be like. All I knew was what I saw happening around me and I emulated it. Then too, I remember asking Pete once, when the boys were starting to notice girls, how do you know if you're in love."

Lois' mouth twitched in amusement at that one. "You asked your friend Pete about what love was like?"

He grinned. "Yeah, I know, but Pete had an older brother so I thought he would know this stuff, and it was easier to ask him sometimes than my dad…not always and most of the time I ended up asking dad anyway. So I was over at Pete's and I asked him what it felt like to be in love. He shrugged and asked how he was supposed to know and then suggested we ask his brother who was home. So we did and he said that love made you feel weird. Your mouth would get dry and your hands would shake, you'd get clumsy and feel sick to your stomach. You would think that the girl was pretty but not really know what to say. You'd sweat and act stupid every time you got near her. Pete teased me saying that was how I acted every time I got around Lana. I realized that he was right. I didn't put it together until a lot later that I only acted that badly around her when she wore that Kryptonite necklace."

"I can understand that. It sounds like a kid's definition of love and knowing how Kryptonite affects you, it could seem that way, at least at first," Lois told him. "But…"

He put a hand up to stall her. "I know, I'm getting there." Clark took a deep breath and blew it out through his mouth. "So then in high school, Lana and I actually started being friends but she was originally dating Whitney, who was the quarterback. I think that in high school, Whitney was who I wanted to be. He was a year ahead of us, he played football, he was popular, he was a nice guy and he dated Lana Lang who was a cheerleader and the girl I had decided I liked."

Pausing, he drained his coffee cup. Then he went on to relate how his relationship with Lana and Whitney went before Whitney left for the military. "We had come to an understanding, Whitney and I, and while we never really became close friends, we had a mutual respect for one another and I think we might have been able to be friends one day if he hadn't been killed in action. He did ask me to look out for Lana while he was gone."

As the wall clock in their living room chimed yet another hour, Clark sighed. "Lois, I could give you all the details of the early part of my relationship with Lana but I don't think that would tell you what you really want to know. I can tell you that whether we were together or not, Lana was constantly insisting that I needed to tell her my secret. She always pushed and kept telling me she had to know." Knowing that Lois was insecure right now about their own relationship for some reason, he reached over and ran the back of his hand lightly down the side of her face, giving her a slight smile. "You were so patient for so long. You never aggravated me about what I was hiding. Even when you figured it out, you waited for me to come to you with it. You'll never know how much that meant to me."

Lois let her eyes drift closed at the warmth of his touch and his words, for a moment allowing herself to bask in them. But then his hand was gone and he cleared his throat. When she opened her eyes, he had a slight smirk on his face, as if he knew what effect his actions were having on her. She glared at him slightly and motioned for him to continue his story.

**A/N: Ok, stopping there because this part is very long for me for right now and I want to really think about the way the conversation goes. I have a direction I want it all to take, but you guys have waited long enough for **_**something**_**. Please let me know how you're liking this.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Unfulfilled Wishes**

A/N: Hey, guys, this part has been a long time coming I know and I'm sorry, but it's here now. It is a lot of conversation and I'm sorry there isn't much action but I felt this was the only way it could go. Please let me know what you think. Your comments have kept me working at it, even when I just didn't feel it.

Chapter 7

Lois motioned for him to continue his story and Clark sighed, reluctantly removing his hand from by her face to lean the side of his head on the back of that hand, elbow resting on the back of the couch. Wiping a hand across his eyes, he drew his eyebrows together in thought. Then he glanced back at the clock and made a decision.

"Lois, the truth is that when I look back over my relationship with Lana, from the beginning all the way until she left, I don't like what I see. As much as I hate to put Lana down because I do believe she's become a good person, and I'm hoping we can continue to be friends in the future, there was a lot I didn't see about Lana because I didn't _want_ to see it," he told her.

This was interesting. It was the first time Lois could remember Clark saying anything negative about Lana and she was intrigued. "What do you mean?" she asked softly.

Sighing, he thought back to his and Lana's first scheduled outing…their "not-a-date". "Ok, let me start from when we were first getting close as friends. I already said that she was dating Whitney. Lex encouraged me to try to steal her away from 'the quarterback', as he had dubbed Whitney. I didn't feel comfortable with the idea. She was dating someone, supposedly because he was her choice, and I wouldn't want someone to do that to me. But Lex told me he had two tickets to a concert that he wouldn't be able to use and I could use the limo if I wanted. He suggested I ask Lana. I thought about it and decided that it might not be a bad idea, as long as we went as friends. So I asked her, knowing that it could make Whitney pretty mad but when she said she wanted to go, I assumed that maybe he would be ok with it when she explained that it was just as friends."

Lois rolled her eyes and snorted. "Really? You really thought he might be ok with it?"

"I had no idea what kind of relationship they had and Lex was always telling me that Lana could never choose me if she didn't know the choice was there," Clark said. He shook his head. "But when I went to pick her up in the limo, I asked her what Whitney thought about us going together. She said she didn't tell him…that he was hanging out with his friends and she was hanging out with hers. When I look back over our relationship, and everything I learned about Lana, I see a pattern…I find that she was always hiding her true self or her intentions or actions, always pretending or hiding in the shadows. I don't know if she just never felt comfortable enough to be honest with people or what, but she was always keeping secrets from the people she claimed to care about: Nell, Whitney, Lex, Chloe, me…everybody. But she couldn't stand for others to keep secrets from her. Every time I would say something that related to my secret, she would push for me to tell her."

"Clark, you said that she was always hiding in the shadows and keeping secrets from people. Are you sure about that? I mean, some people just aren't as open about things as others, at least not right away," Lois pointed out softly. She didn't want to help Lana's side but she wanted to make sure Clark was seeing things as they really were and not just trying to tell her something she would want to hear.

Shaking his head again, he leaned forward in his earnest. "Lois, that was only the beginning, believe me. You saw some of it. She didn't tell her aunt that she quit the cheerleading squad, she didn't tell Whitney that she wanted to break up with him, she didn't tell anybody about Jason or even that she had met someone in France, she didn't tell anyone about that tattoo that appeared. She didn't tell me about the alien ship that had Brainiac. She didn't tell people she was pregnant, or thought she was. The list is actually pretty extensive when I really start to think about it."

He frowned. "But I might think you were right about her not feeling comfortable with being open about things, especially with me. I didn't exactly hide the fact that I was keeping things from her. I think we always had problems with trust. Even when she finally found out about me, about my abilities, she didn't tell me at first. She held onto that and let Lionel talk her into staying with Lex, supposedly to protect me, but she never came to me about it. She just tried to handle it all on her own," he told her quietly.

Lois just raised an eyebrow at him. "Sounds like someone else I know."

"But this was different, Lo. It just never seemed that we felt we could trust each other…with anything that was truly important, anyway."

He leaned back again and Lois could tell that he was telling the truth and that he wasn't exactly proud that it was the truth. He took a deep breath and looked up into her eyes and his blue ones were full of a mixture of sorrow and regret. "I'm not saying I didn't contribute to that feeling because I did, but it was like we'd feed off each other with it, instead of taking that leap to trust the other…" he paused and stilled as he added, "But there were signs there that I couldn't ignore, as much as I wanted to, that I couldn't trust her…not completely and sometimes, barely at all."

She tilted her head in silent question. He sighed. "Lana had a dark side to her too, Lois, one that I saw but kept telling myself I was imagining."

Sitting up a little straighter, Lois raised her eyebrows at this. "What do you mean a dark side?" she asked. That had gotten her attention. There was a difference between hiding things and keeping secrets and having a 'dark side'.

Clark's cheeks flushed and he swallowed. "There are a couple of major things that I could point to as loud alarms that the relationship between Lana and Clark would never work. There are a lot of little minor things too but I think you should know about the two big things." He reached over and picked up the box of objects Lois had shown him earlier. "One of them involves this…at least this was the beginning."

Lois swallowed too, fighting back tears. Was this so painful for him? Did he regret that it didn't work out with Lana so much? Wanting to be there for him, to let him know that she supported him and wanted to hear this, no matter what, she placed her hand over the one on his leg and squeezed it gently. He looked up and whatever he saw in her eyes made him grab both of her hands and force her to hold his gaze.

"Honey, what I'm going to tell you is hard for me to say because I don't like the part I played in these two things." His eyes skittered away from hers for a moment and he scowled slightly before turning a pleading look back on her. "I just don't want it to change how you see me. But I want to be completely honest with you, Lois."

It wasn't lost on her that this was the first time all night he had used a term of endearment that wasn't part of her name. He had been careful to keep his emotions in check and Lois couldn't tell if it was because he didn't want her to see how much Lana affected him and he was trying to do the right thing and stay with her, or if it was because he wanted to use logic to prove to Lois that they really did belong together. Secretly, she was hoping for the latter but was afraid it might be the first…until he had called her 'honey'. His emotions were bleeding through the mask he had put on. It was an indication that maybe, just maybe, he would choose her.

Putting a hand to her husband's cheek, Lois gave him a soft smile. "Smallville, whatever it is, as long as it's the truth, you can tell me. You don't ever have to be afraid of that. As long as we're honest with each other, then we can work it out." She blushed as she realized what she said.

He must have caught it too because he flashed a small knowing grin before turning serious again. "That's what I've been trying to tell you, Lo," he whispered. When she just closed her eyes and a tear leaked out the side of one, he gently wiped it away before huffing and gathering up his courage.

"Ok, so the story behind the ring…" Clark trailed off, holding the box up to indicate it. He took a deep breath and began. "Did I ever tell you about the first time I had to go back in time and change a decision I made, the time when Jor-El helped me?" he asked. When her eyes widened in surprise and she shook her head, he nodded and continued. "I didn't think so. I knew I had told you about the Legion ring and your trip to the future and the time I tried telling the world the truth about me, but I didn't tell you about the first time I changed the past. This ring has to do with that time. I decided I had to go back to undo a bad mistake, at least that's what I thought I was doing at the time.

"It started around the time Dad decided to run for the Senate. Lana and I were dating but it was really strained between us. Things were getting really bad and I could see that I could lose her for good because I just couldn't keep hiding everything from her and expect her to understand or let it go. So I had this brilliant plan of proposing and telling her my secret all at one time," Clark told her, shaking his head at his own stupidity.

Lois shook her head with him, her surprise showing on her face. "You hit her with all of it at once? Clark…"

He held up a hand to forestall any lectures or comments. "I know. It wasn't fair of me to do it that way. Looking back, I made a lot of mistakes during that time." He swallowed hard and closed his eyes at the memory of that tragic year of his life. Then he went on to tell her about taking Lana to the fortress and showing off his powers for her before asking her to marry him.

"But I did make her wait to give me an answer, and when I look back over that day, I remember details now that I didn't notice at first. When I first told her I was from another planet, she didn't seem to believe me, even with the trip to the fortress, and she told me that I'm just like everyone else. And I also saw real fear in her eyes when I put the diamond in the ring and welded it with my heat vision. Looking back, I know that she really was afraid of me, at least at first," he thought aloud.

Clark seemed to come back from his memory of that to slip into another one. "And you came out to the farm for some last minute details about my Dad's victory party and I was doing chores as I waited to find out what Lana was thinking. She evidently had talked to you."

_Lois stepped out of her car and slammed the door as Clark came out of the barn. She studied him for a minute and she had a thoughtful look on her face. "What?" he asked her, looking down at his clothes and behind him, trying to figure out what she was looking at or for._

"_That's what I'm trying to figure out," she answered squinting at him. "Evidently, there's the whole different side to you that those who think they know you well don't know at all."_

_Clark felt his heart skip a beat and then race at that. What exactly was going through Lois' mind? What did she think she knew? He raised his eyebrows in question. "What's that supposed to mean?"_

_She shrugged. "Beats me. It's just something Lana either discovered about you or you told her that she just didn't see coming." Lois grinned at him. "Whatever it is, I don't see it and it doesn't matter if I ever know it. You'll always be 'Smallville' to me."_

_Rolling his eyes at her, he tried to play the conversation off but his heart continued to pound as he thought about Lana talking to Lois about his secret. "Well, since I don't know what it is we're talking about I'll just ask if you think Lana still feels the same way about me." Clark wasn't playing fair asking that question but he wanted a hint as to how Lana was taking everything._

_Lois hesitated a moment before she shrugged and huffed. "I don't know… maybe; she looked pretty shaken up." Then she smirked at him. "I wouldn't care if you told me you could fly and ran around in your underwear, you'd still be a pain in my ass," she teased._

"_Well, at least I know what to expect from you, Lois," Clark sighed, rolling his eyes again._

_She shook her head slightly and grinned at him. "Don't be so sure, Smallville. I've been told I have a tendency to shake things up a little. The General always says that just as soon as he thinks he's got me figured out, I turn around and do something totally off the wall….something he never saw coming."_

Lois gave a small smile. "Sounds exactly like the kind of conversation we would have had." She took a breath. This was a lot to take in…he was telling her about a conversation, an entire day that she never lived.

Clark studied his wife, seeing her as she was that day, the day that didn't happen in her mind. "I guess that's another difference between you and Lana. She didn't see anything special about me from all the other guys she dated or cared about until she knew my secret. You saw me as a unique individual, even before you knew my secret. You've always shown me that it wasn't where I was from or what I could do that made me different…it was my heart and what I did with my life and my gifts that made me special." He put his hand to the side of her face, cupping her cheek. "You make me special, Lois," he whispered.

Tears formed in her eyes but she sniffed them back and swallowed. "Then what happened?" She wanted to hear the whole story.

"Then I went to talk to Chloe about it." He paused and tilted his head as he remembered something. "Funny, when I told her about asking Lana to marry me, I told her I knew that she would try to talk me out of it. Then I listed a whole bunch of reasons why it was a bad idea…almost like I was talking myself out of it."

They sat in silence for a moment and then Lois broke it with a soft question. "So what was her answer?"

He didn't pretend to not understand what she meant. "She said yes," he answered just as softly, looking at the box. Then he went on to tell her about the rest of the night all the way up until the accident that killed Lana. "I never knew why she went to see Lex, especially _that_ night. I don't know what she was thinking but I was in such shock, I didn't let anything rest before I ran off to the fortress and demanded that Jor-El help me to fix it…to bring Lana back. He had warned me that when he brought me back from the dead that the universe would find a balance, that someone else would have to die in my place. I just couldn't accept that it be Lana. He warned me again before I went back and changed it all that the universe would still find a way. I didn't care, I just wanted her back."

Lois felt her heart squeeze. It must have almost killed him to see that he had been too late to save Lana. She could only imagine how at that time Clark would have fallen apart over Lana's death…she was his whole world. The question was, was that still the case? Did he want it to be? "So what did you change? What was different the second time around?"

"Everything changed. I didn't tell her the truth about me and she told me she needed a break from us…she broke up with me," he told her. He went on to tell her about the second time living that day and all the differences. "But like I said, I didn't heed Jor-El's warning…that was the night my dad died." He was practically whispering.

With a sharp intake of breath, Lois flinched at his admission and he nodded as his eyes filled with tears. "Yeah, I traded Lana's life for Dad's and I ended up losing her anyway…to Lex." His guilt over his actions that day were pushed to the background, as he realized something he had never told her, looking at his beautiful wife. "The worst thing is I didn't realize at the time how close I came to losing something else…some_one_ else that would become so precious to me."

At her questioning look, he ran the back of his hand down her cheek softly. "Lois, I came so close to losing you that night. I found you fallen on the floor, a toaster beside you and water rushing towards it. Not a minute after I picked you up, there was an electrical shock that raced along the floor. I'm just glad I got to you in time. I can't begin to think of how my life would have turned out if..." he couldn't finish that thought aloud. Clark wanted so badly to pull her into his arms and just hold her, but she was barely allowing him to touch her at all so he settled for his hand on her cheek.

Lois felt herself melting inside at the sincerity in his voice and the look in his eyes heated her skin and gave her chills at the same time…without using his heat vision. She couldn't deny that there was love, pure love, shining back at her from his baby blues. "But you would have had Jonathan," she pointed out. "If I had known that my life might have been…"

Clark placed a finger over her lips and shook his head. "Don't finish that sentence. Dad had a weak heart, one he inherited from his father but aggravated from the powers Jor-El gave him to bring me back from Metropolis. The truth is, his heart would have given out eventually anyway, but because of my selfishness, it gave out sooner." He played with her hair a little, running it through his hand and reveling in its softness. "But Dad really thought the world of you and if there had to be a choice, he would have gladly given his life for yours."

Lois stilled his hand by taking it in hers. Looking deeply in his eyes, she wanted him to see and hear the truth in her next words. "And he also would have gladly given his life for Lana too. He cared about her too. So don't beat yourself up too much. I don't think you could have possibly chosen between them if you had known."

"That's what my mom told me too. And while I understand that, it didn't make the guilt go away. It was still so hard to look at Lana and know that as much as I cared for her, I had traded her life for his," Clark admitted.

"Are you still carrying that around with you, Clark? You have to find a way to accept it and move on," Lois told him, concerned.

He shook his head. "I've accepted it. It's still hard sometimes but in general, I've learned to live with that decision even though I'm not really sure if I would make the same choices again." Then he gave her half a smile and held up the box with the ring and Lana's picture. "But I keep these as a reminder that my decisions have consequences…serious ones. It's to remind me not to be hasty and just react to situations but to actually take the time to think things through. That's the _only_ reason I still have this."

Clark took another deep breath. "But that was just the beginning. I told you that I never knew why Lana went to talk to Lex, but the truth was they had been spending more time together and growing closer and she finally decided to be with him. Lex had been my best friend and we were no longer friends and she knew that but still she developed a relationship with him. I don't completely blame her because I know how persuasive and manipulative he could be, even when he didn't realize that's what he was doing, and I had pretty much pushed her away, but it still hurt."

Lois nodded. "I would think so. But you've told me that she married Lex to protect you…your secret."

"Yes, that's true. In the end, that's why she went through with it, but the point was that she had allowed herself to get to that point in the first place. She must have had some feelings there that were pretty strong for him, maybe even real love. They stayed pretty strong, they just turned to hate. I never hated Lex…I was just disappointed in him and hated what he had become. I still wish there was a way to save him."

Tilting her head and frowning in concern, Lois squeezed the hand she was still holding. "I know you do."

That's all she could think to say to him but it seemed to be enough, because he picked up his story. "Even after she knew my secret, things weren't the same. She didn't come to me about Lionel blackmailing her to marry Lex. Her dark side grew while she was married to him. When Lex was trapped down in the tunnels at the dam and below ground and I went in to get him out, she had found information that might have helped get him out. She didn't say anything until she found out I was down there. She was willing to let him die down there. Then she started spying on him…it just went on and on. She even faked her own death to get out from under Lex instead of coming to me for help or at least telling me about it. Lana let me go through that, knowing how it would make me feel. I think in her subconscious she might have been trying to punish me for not telling her my secret…making her trick me into revealing it. She became someone I didn't recognize but I didn't want to let go of the girl I had known for so long…or thought I had known."

"I can imagine that being married to Lex, especially with the whole baby incident, would change you a little," Lois pointed out generously.

"Yeah, but there were other things too. Which brings me to the other big thing I was going to tell you about. Do you remember me telling you about the phantom that looked like me?" Clark asked her.

Lois smirked at him. "You mean the one you said was the person that grabbed my ass at Lex's mansion?"

Clark blushed and Lois's smile widened. He still got flustered over that and she thought it was adorably funny. "Yes, that one. Well, while I was stuck in the fortress, trapped by Jor-El, he was here, in Metropolis and Smallville, living with Lana and pretending to be me…for a month." At her surprised look, he nodded. "Chloe told me that she noticed little quirks and things about him that weren't right but Lana…Lana believed it was him. She couldn't tell the difference between us, after _living_ with him for a month! She was supposed to love me and know me better than anyone."

"You did tell me that he knew everything you did, he had your memories and everything. Maybe he was just good at acting and pretending to be you," Lois offered weakly.

Clark knew that she didn't believe that any more than he did. "That was only when he first copied himself after me. Lois, Chloe knew. There were…obvious differences in his behavior and mine." He hesitated as he wanted to tell her everything but the next thing he wanted to tell her was a bit delicate. "He was…_with_ Lana when I wouldn't be because I was afraid I'd hurt her. He told her they were leaving Smallville. He told her that he wanted to work with her to take down Lex, encouraging her spying on him."

She realized what he was trying to tell her and she blushed slightly. He had told her before that he had only slept with Lana when they were on the same level of the playing field, so to speak. She swallowed but didn't say anything. Lois didn't know if he expected her to.

"When he was finally gone, Lana and I had an argument and she admitted that it had been easier to be with the phantom than with me…that he had been more affectionate and more understanding, of what exactly I have no idea. They had a level of trust we never did. She told me that no one could live up to my self-righteous standards. Even though she was the one who destroyed him in the end, she hesitated and I knew in my heart that she truly hadn't wanted to…that she had seriously considered staying with him." He paused, realizing that he had to make Lois see something important about this story.

"But Lois, when Clark Luthor was here in this world and I was stuck in his, you knew after we switched back immediately that it was me. I knew that you would know and you did. You even knew it wasn't me when he tried to pretend to be me." She trembled slightly at the truth of his words and he smiled reassuringly at her.

Taking a chance that his words might have started to reach her heart, he took her arms and gently pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her back. The fact that Lois let him instead of fighting it gave him some hope. "Lois, I told you once that there were times when I thought you knew me better than anybody. I have proof of that with the contrast between you and Lana with those examples. She lived with someone pretending to be me for a month and didn't recognize the difference. You stood here, in this very apartment, with someone else pretending to be me for less than five minutes and knew something was very wrong."

Tears ran silently down Lois's face and he brought one hand up to wipe them gently away. "Because you know me…you love me and we have a bond that Lana and I never had. I _chose_ to tell you the truth about me, and even though you already knew, you waited for that, and have never held it over my head. You allowed me to learn to trust, not you, but us. And I do, Lois. I trust in _us_ more than anything else."

Clark placed gentle kisses all over her face, tasting the salt of her tears and felt her trembling increase. He took a deep breath, drinking in the scent of her and felt himself relax because he knew that things were going to be ok. He pulled back slightly to look her in the eyes again and he saw the truth there. "Lois, our vows on our wedding day…all of them," he paused and they smiled at that, "They were written by us, from the heart. And I meant them every time I've said them and I still mean them now. What did I say?" She hesitated and tried to look away but he gently placed a finger under her chin and forced her eyes to stay with his. "What were my words, Lo?" he whispered.

As she tried to say the words that meant so much to her, she found she couldn't get her voice to work so she started to mouth them but Clark helped her out, saying them with her. "I, Clark Kent, take you, Lois Lane, to be my companion, forever. With you by my side I will never be alone. Though the world sees a strong and independent woman, I've never known someone with such gentle grace and more pure heart. When I've been lost you've always been there to bring me back, so on this day, at this moment, I pledge the rest of my life to you. You've always believed in me, and I believe in you. When you believe in someone it's not for a minute, or just for now, it's forever."

Lois's trembling had taken on earthquake proportions and her tears continued to flow as she knew what he would request of her next. "And your vows, Lois? What did you tell me?"

She closed her eyes for a moment before forcing them open and reciting her vows again with him. "I wanted these vows to be perfect, but perfection is a hard thing to get your hands on. But life is meant to be a little messy, and when it comes to love I think it's like my dad always said about the army: You only sign up if it's the only thing you could ever imagine doing. Clark, I cannot imagine spending a moment of my life without you. I promise that I will always have your back, as you will always have mine. You're my best friend, you're my home, and you are my true love, and I am yours and will be forever."

"Lois Lane never says anything she doesn't mean. I know that you meant those vows and I know you know I meant mine." Clark felt her shudder and let out a brief sob and he pulled her to him and placed a light kiss on her lips, even though he wanted to kiss some sense back into that beautiful head of hers. "Lo, tell me you love me. Tell me you know that I love you. I know you know that but tell me. I need to hear you say it. Because if you really don't think that I truly and deeply love you, then I've done a terrible job living up to my vows as your husband."

"Oh, Clark, that's not true! You've been a wonderful husband, and I know you love me," Lois sobbingly admitted.

Clark gave her half a grin. "I hope you mean I've been a wonderful husband _so far_." He kissed her a little longer, but still not too deeply before adding, "Because I intend to stay a wonderful husband." When she just smiled through her tears, he finally pulled her in and fused his lips to hers. He felt her finally relax and start to melt into his embrace and he wanted to shout in triumph and happiness.

After a moment, he just barely pulled back to look into her face. "Tell me what I need to hear, Lo," he whispered, nuzzling her with his nose along the side of her face and below her ear, delighting in the little shivers her body gave off. "Tell me."

Clinging to him tighter, Lois gave in and whispered, "I love you, Clark. I love you and I will love you all the days of my life."

This time, he didn't hesitate. Holding her as tight as he dared, Clark poured all the love in his heart into the kisses he delivered. When they were both shaking with want and need, he reluctantly drew back. He wanted to take it further but knew their discussion wasn't over just yet.

Loosening their embrace, Clark reached behind her and grabbed the tissue box, holding it out for her. Lois thanked him and blew her nose, causing him to grin again. But when she started hiccupping, he got up and got another glass of water for her. Clark sat down on his end of the couch again, but this time, he swung his legs up too so that he was lying longwise on the couch and placed Lois in his lap, lying along him. She relaxed back against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. Kissing the top of her head, he rested his cheek on her hair.

"Lois, if you know that I love you, why were you willing to just walk away? How could you think that I'd ever want to leave you for Lana?" he asked quietly. "Why would you try to push us together?"

**A/N: I know I am cruel for leaving it there but this is a long chapter for me and I have yet a long ways to go in this next part of their conversation. I wanted to get this out to you guys as soon as possible. Now that I'm done with research and I know exactly where I want the next part to go, it'll come out a lot faster. I promise.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Unfulfilled Wishes**

A/N: Well, it's finally here! Thanks so much for your patience and your comments. I know it's been a while but I've had computer problems, work has been crazy, I had a death "in the family" (she might as well have been. My dad had known her all his life!), and I've been sick. I'm so sorry for making you wait. We don't have much longer to go on this story and I hope it will live up to everything you were hoping it would. We are at the end of this story. This is the last "chapter" but there will be an epilogue to follow soon. Please let me know what you think!

_From Chapter 7_

_Clinging to him tighter, Lois gave in and whispered, "I love you, Clark. I love you and I will love you all the days of my life."_

_This time, he didn't hesitate. Holding her as tight as he dared, Clark poured all the love in his heart into the kisses he delivered. When they were both shaking with want and need, he reluctantly drew back. He wanted to take it further but knew their discussion wasn't over just yet._

_Loosening their embrace, Clark reached behind her and grabbed the tissue box, holding it out for her. Lois thanked him and blew her nose, causing him to grin again. But when she started hiccupping, he got up and got another glass of water for her. Clark sat down on his end of the couch again, but this time, he swung his legs up too so that he was lying longwise on the couch and placed Lois in his lap, lying along him. She relaxed back against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. Kissing the top of her head, he rested his cheek on her hair._

"_Lois, if you know that I love you, why were you willing to just walk away? How could you think that I'd ever want to leave you for Lana?" he asked quietly. "Why would you try to push us together?"_

**Revisiting "Requiem" and "Siren"**

Chapter 8

Lois was quiet for so long, Clark might have thought she had fallen asleep except that he could tell by her breathing that she was awake. "Lois?" he said softer still.

"Before I can answer that, I need to know a couple of things. I need to ask you about something important and I need the truth from you, Clark. Don't hold back in your answers," she told him, not moving from her position against his chest.

Clark frowned. "Lois, I'd never lie to you. All night, I've tried to be as honest as I could with you. I'm not about to start changing that now." Why was she asking for complete honesty now? What was she afraid of? He thought that now that they had established that he did indeed love her and that she knew that, it would help to waylay her fears.

Taking a deep breath, Lois sat up and turned to look in his eyes. "You were in love with Lana, weren't you…at least at some point?" she asked, her voice strong.

He studied her for a long moment. There was a reason she had latched onto Lana and he knew it wasn't just the Lana situation itself; they couldn't have had as happy a married life as they did if that was all there was to it. There was more, something eating at Lois, and he didn't know if she even knew exactly what it was. But if this was what they needed to sort through to get it all squared away and dealt with, he was going full throttle.

"I can't answer that with just a 'yes' or 'no', Lois," he began slowly. "The answer isn't that simple." He thought about it for several seconds. "I felt _something_ for Lana, something I would have said at one time was love, and maybe it was. You're right, I did ask her to marry me," he paused and thought about how to continue. "But what I felt with Lana and what I feel for you…Lois, there is no comparison. If what I felt with Lana was love, then I don't have a word strong enough to describe what I feel with and for you. I asked her to marry me because I was afraid I would lose her and end up alone. I asked you because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. Can you understand that there is a difference?"

Tilting her head slightly, her eyes darted off to the side but then back to his face and she nodded. "Yeah, I do."

He nodded once, glad that she did seem to understand. "Lana said something tonight when we talked some things out, especially about those few weeks she came back. She said that after she left the second time, that she had time to think about it all and realized that love shouldn't have to be so hard. She was right, Lo. You either fight to stay together or you let someone go for their own good." He stopped, suddenly realizing that maybe he was onto something with that last phrase. Was that what Lois was trying to do? If so, why? Weren't they worth fighting for?

Taking advantage of Clark's pause, Lois took a deep breath and let out a sigh. "Tell me about what happened at Chloe's wedding and while I was gone with Jimmy in Star City…all of it. I need to know." She had leaned back against his chest, unable to look him in the eye as she had asked this of him.

Sighing, Clark took a deep breath and closed his eyes, accessing memories he had been repressing for a long time. As he let them flow over him, however, he realized it wasn't painful anymore. He had come to accept it even though he had avoided the subject for years. He smiled softly at the realization that Lois was to credit for that, along with time for him to mature and enjoy the real relationship he had with his wife.

"When I saw Lana at Chloe's wedding, I honestly didn't know what to think. I was confused and stunned. I had resigned myself to the fact that I would never see her again. Then, suddenly, with no warning at all, there she was again," he started.

Lois listened but heard nothing of note in his tone. It was neither cold and indifferent nor pain filled and nostalgic. He simply told her what he was remembering. She was tempted to look back up at him but remained where she was. Clark told her about the beast attacking at the wedding, filling in details that she hadn't seen since she had been at the house with Oliver. He told her about talking with the police and Lana and Oliver at the hospital.

"Then I came out of Lana's exam room and you were there. I had never seen you so lost and so vulnerable. You just looked so fragile and I was afraid to touch you at first because you just looked like you would shatter into a million pieces," he said quietly, his memories of her face causing the first pain of the retelling. He had never wanted to see Lois like that again.

Clark thought back to those moments and his confusion over that time showed on his face. "I was so torn between my past and my present. With everything that had happened, I didn't know what to say or do, and then you declared you were leaving town to watch over Jimmy, it felt like someone was squeezing my heart. I tried to hold and comfort you about Chloe but you were so stiff. There was too much going on for me to process it all and I admit that part of me was relieved you were leaving, so that I had a small reprieve from trying to figure out my feelings about us. I wasn't ready…but then I guess you weren't either since you pulled away and left."

Lois shook her head and looked down at her hands. They had never talked about that night in the hospital…she had never seen a need, but now that it had come up and they were putting all their cards on the table, she had to tell him the truth. "No, I was ready…at least, I was ready to start thinking about you differently. I had told Oliver just before that monster attacked that I had tried to ignore these moments between us but there was no denying them and I had these feelings that had no name for you. I had always known you were a good guy and we had become friends but…" she trailed off and shrugged.

Turning her to face him, Clark gently tilted her face up with a single finger, forcing her to look up at him. "Is that why you left? Because you were trying to figure out those feelings? Because you were frightened of them? What was it?"

She shook her head and her eyes darted away for a moment. "No, I saw you and Lana together in her exam room and I…well, I thought…I mean…"

Sighing, Clark released her and closed his eyes briefly and shook his head. "You thought exactly what anyone else would…that Lana and I were on our way to getting back together." He took a deep breath and let it out in a huff at his own stupidity at that time. "And you would be right." At her sharp intake of breath, he rushed to add, "But I don't know if it would have happened if you had stayed or not. I'm not making excuses, Lois, but…"

He stopped and shook his head again. No, he wouldn't speculate on what might have happened if Lois had stayed. She had left for Star City and she wanted to know what _did_ happen. Picking up from there, he told her everything, leaving out no details that he could remember. Clark told her about Lana stealing the suit from under Lex. He told her about his trepidation about Lana having the suit, especially because it was designed by Lex. He told her how she had admitted to spending months preparing herself, training herself, for wearing it. He told her how he was never sure, still wasn't, if he would have ever seen Lana again if there had been no super suit or if she couldn't have gotten it to work. He told her about Lana telling him that he didn't have to worry about her or protect her anymore…how Lana had said that she knew that he had always cared about her…about how she had felt like a distraction in his life but now that she had the suit she wasn't…how Lana had said that only _now_ were they equals and could help make the world a better place together, now that nothing could hurt her anymore. He told her how he had hesitatingly admitted that it was a dream come true for him. Lois stiffened a little at that and he felt her try to pull away but he held tight to her.

He paused after that, allowing that scene to play out in his head, feeling the apprehension from that day on the roof of the Daily Planet wash over him again. He debated telling her all of his feelings at that point or getting just the facts out there first of those strange weeks with Lana Lang back in his life. Clark wanted Lois to know it all, but knowing the order to lay it out before her was trickier than maneuvering through a mine field. He finally decided that confessing all of the actions of his sins should come first before trying to explain them…as there was certainly no excuse for them.

So Clark began with the reminder of the bomb that went off at LuthorCorp with Oliver in the room and how he was the only survivor, although not without injuries. He cleared his throat and tried to prepare himself for the blow that he had to deliver now. "While Oliver was at his board meeting, declaring that he now had the controlling interest in LuthorCorp, Lana and I were…at the farm…"

He waited a beat, trying to see if he would have to spell it out, but her gasp told him that Lois understood all too well what he and Lana had been doing. She tried to pull out of his embrace, but he held tight. "Let go of me, Clark," she gritted out between her teeth. When he reluctantly released her, she moved back to the other end of the couch and wrapped her arms around herself defensively. Her chest rose and fell with pants of hurt and anger. "You slept with her? She gets this nifty new suit complete with powers and the first thing you both do is jump into bed together?"

Clark took a deep breath and chose his words carefully. "Lois, I knew it would be hard for you to hear that, but you wanted the whole story and the truth is that I have to include that for you to understand everything about why Lana and I are truly over. Just…just let me finish the story. Don't shut me out yet." He waited for her almost imperceptible nod before letting out his breath and picking the story back up again.

"I have only been with two women intimately, ever. Lana…and you." Her eyes shot to his and he saw the surprise in them. He frowned at that but nodded. "Yeah, only the two of you. And I was only with Lana when we were…um, on the same level of the playing field. We were only together when we both had powers or when we both didn't. Now that she had powers, it was easy to fall back into our old pattern and before I thought anything through, we were…in bed together again."

He thought back to that night where he had thought he was finally able to be with Lana in a normal relationship again, this time for good. He told Lois about his suggestion to Lana that they fly off somewhere and watch the sunset all over again. Lana, however, had told him that she wanted to go patrolling Metropolis with him and it had startled him. "I remember telling her that all I had ever wanted was someone to share my life with…working side by side together and how I never thought I would have that with my abilities."

Lois swallowed hard and blinked furiously at the tears that formed in her eyes. But instead of elaborating on that, Clark continued with his account of the events from that time. He told her about going to the hospital to visit Oliver to find out what they could from him and then investigating at the board room and discovering the kryptonite bomb and Lana absorbing it, although they didn't understand that was what was going on at the time. He told her about Lana admitting that she thought Oliver was hiding something from Clark.

"She had told me that she had found him when she tracked Lex to Cuba and that Oliver had been there to kill Lex. I didn't even question at the time why she had been there. At that time, Oliver and I weren't working together on things like we should have, but I never once thought about why Lana would have still been tracking Lex," he admitted, his voice laced with guilt. He had been so ready to trust Lana, so desperate to want to be with someone, that he had acted, not thinking anything through.

Continuing his story, he told her all about Oliver and Chloe working together to track down Lex behind his back. He told her about his confrontation with Chloe aboard Oliver's jet, about finding Lana with her necklace at the farm and how he told her that he remembered her wearing it in high school and how Lana had found out about the 'skin' absorbing the kryptonite. He and Lana tracked down Toyman's hideout and found the doll that Lex had been using to communicate with Schott. He told her everything about that time, surprising himself at the details he remembered.

Finally, he came back to the night of the bomb that separated him from Lana. Lana had searched the entire Daily Planet building but hadn't found it. Using his super hearing, Clark had discovered it was on the roof. They raced to it, discovered it was made with kryptonite, and he told her about Lex telling them that they would have to choose…either to walk away and let hundreds, maybe even thousands, of people die or diffuse the bomb and have to stay apart.

Clark paused for a minute as he allowed himself to be transported back to that night and the roof of the Daily Planet. As they faced each other and the choice before them, he saw Lana's face as she tried to come up with another way, even as he knew they were running out of time. "We stood there, warring with ourselves and finally, I told her that she had to do this. She looked like she wanted to argue with me, but she simply kissed me, walked over to the bomb, and her eyes never left mine as she placed her hands on the bomb," he told her quietly.

He told Lois about how helpless he felt watching her lifted in the air as the suit absorbed all that kryptonite. When his eyes caught her expression, he paused. "What? Lo, what is it?"

Lois searched his eyes, looking for the truth. "Is that what really happened?" she asked quietly. When he nodded in the affirmative and again asked what was wrong, she took a deep breath. "Clark, the first time you told me what happened with that bomb on the roof of the Daily Planet, you made it seem like Lana was the one who accepted what had to be done first. Now, you're telling me that you were the one who spoke up first. Which is it?"

Thinking back, he sighed. "I know what I told you before, but in a way, they are both true." At her confused expression, he struggled to explain. "I saw in her eyes that she had somehow known that something, or someone, would drive us apart again. It was like she had just been waiting for the other shoe to drop. But she waited for me to make the decision…I think to see what I would say…If I would let her do it…make that sacrifice."

Lois thought about that for a beat and nodded when she seemed to accept this. Then Clark went on to tell her about going after Lex and Lana stopping him from killing him and then the truck blowing up with Lex inside. He looked so sad and his regret was almost palpable. "I know that Lex, the real Lex, had become a real monster but…being there, seeing that truck blow up…" His voice became hoarse. "Lo, I picked up a handful of dust at the site; it could have been part of Lex's ashes…"

Lois quickly moved closer again and placed a hand over his lips. "Ssshhh," she whispered. "Don't…don't drive yourself crazy with 'what if' and 'if only'. It happened, let it go, put it in the past where it belongs."

He rested his forehead to hers, closing his eyes and drinking in the comfort she offered. He grabbed hold of her upper arms and held on, forcing himself to remember to be gentle. Finally, he pulled back and took a deep breath to finish the story. Taking them to the loft of the barn on the farm, Clark told her all about his last encounter with Lana before seeing her at the football game. He told her about Lana telling him that the doctor who had helped her obtain the suit couldn't help her reverse the absorption of the kryptonite nor stop it from continuing to happen. He told her everything they had said to each other that he could remember. He told her about begging Lana to stay, about her refusal, about his forcing himself to be near her to kiss her goodbye, and how, finally, she had walked away, crying and declaring that she would always love him.

The ticking of a nearby wall clock was the only sound other than their breathing for several moments. Clark was looking down at his hands, his mind seeing Lana's face as she left the loft of the barn and walked out of his life yet again. "It took me weeks to get back to full strength after the exposure to the kryptonite from kissing her," he said absently.

He heard a loud sniff and looked up to see Lois crying and wiping her nose with another tissue. Giving a slight chuckle, he drew her into his arms, just holding her lightly and thankful that she was allowing him to. There was still a lot to say and clarify, but for now, he reveled in holding her close again…in knowing that not only was he not alone, but that he was holding the right woman in his arms.

"I'm so sorry, Clark. It's no wonder you didn't want to talk about it. I'm sorry that I made you relive all of that," she told him, her voice thick with held back tears.

Pulling her back, he placed on hand on the side of her face to gently urge her to look up at him while holding her upper arm with the other hand. "Hey, you have nothing to be sorry about!" he protested gently. "This is something I should have told you a long time ago, but I was so happy living in our present that it never crossed my mind that we still had things to deal with from our past." He grimaced slightly before adding, "Maybe I should say we had things to deal with from _my_ past."

Lois latched onto one word out of that and her tears stopped almost instantly. "Happy," she whispered, frantically searching his eyes. "You're really happy with me…with us? With our life the way it is? You wouldn't change anything?"

Giving a short bark of laughter in disbelief, Clark shook his head at her. "Would I change…? Lois! I love you! I love our life together!" He stopped and pursed his lips together, his eyes studying the ceiling for a moment. "Well, I admit that I do wish that you wouldn't put yourself in _quite_ so many life threatening situations," he half teased, but then he leaned closer, his eyes staring into hers, his words gentle and full of love. "But I knew what you were like when I married you and I bought the whole package, Lois Lane. Maybe our life isn't perfect…but it's perfect for me."

She closed her eyes, swallowed and leaned into his touch. When Clark's mouth fused to hers, Lois surrendered to the sensations. She wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him closer, tears running down her face unnoticed and unheeded. Clark drew back reluctantly, with her giving a small moan of protest.

"Lois, honey, I'd love to let this continue to its natural conclusion, but there is still something bothering you. There is a reason you asked me if I was happy with our life the way it is and I think it's the same reason why you decided to push me towards Lana," Clark wiped the tears from her face and lovingly ran his hands through her hair. "Talk to me, Lo. Tell me what has you so upset and doubting us now, after all these years," he whispered.

Taking a deep breath, Lois knew he was right. He had told her everything she wanted to know by divulging his past and showing her his heart. Now it was her turn to reveal what was in her heart. It was time to talk to him about her fears…and to confront them once and for all. She cleared her throat and sat back slightly.

"It's just that…I…well, seeing Lana and hearing her say…there was that 24 hours where Jor-El…and then the whole relationship issues with Ollie," she babbled, nothing coming out anywhere remotely intelligible.

Clark's baffled expression caused her to giggle a little. "Ok, I've been translating 'Lois speak' for a while now, but even I'm going to need help with that one," he admitted with a small grin.

She gave a self-depreciating grin before taking a deep breath and trying again. "Ok, so I thought I had worked out long ago that I had my own part with the League and you and everything, but every once in a while there would be these reminders that I was so _not_ invincible, like that small incident where that guy threw me out of the plane a few months ago and you had to swoop in and save me…_again_…anyway, and then there was that whole 24 hour period where Jor-El gave me your abilities and I got a glimpse into what it was like to be you and you got a look at what it would be like to be me, and then there was the reason you've always thought why Oliver and I ultimately didn't work out with the whole Green Arrow thing, and then Lana has this amazing suit right? One that gives her these amazing abilities and allows her to work side by side with you in saving the world and now she's going to be a real part of the League, and the suit doesn't absorb kryptonite anymore so there's no danger to you…no reason you two have to be apart anymore, and I just want you to be ok with it all. You know? So are you?" she said all in one long breath.

Frozen for a moment, Clark simply stared at her, his eyebrows drawn together as he tried desperately to process all that his wife had thrown at him. He struggled to make some kind of sense out of the chaos. Something about the Justice League, her not having powers, Lana and the suit that gave _her_ abilities…oh yeah, and something about the break up with Oliver. "So…you want super abilities like Lana and me?" he tried.

Chuckling briefly, Lois shook her head. "I'm sorry. I guess I threw a lot of stuff at you all at once." She flashed him a nervous smile. "No, that's just it. I _don't_ want special super powers." When he still looked confused, her smile was more genuine. "Clark…you are an amazing person and I accept your abilities as part of who you are just as much as your farmer upbringing. You do amazing things every day with those powers because of your wonderful heart. And I'm so happy that you have learned to accept all of you, the Kryptonian side as well as the human side."

Pausing, Lois gathered her thoughts and her courage to keep going. "But, Smallville, I'm happy with who I am. Even if I could go to the fortress right now and Jor-El could give me your abilities permanently or Lana could somehow give me that suit and all the powers that come with it…I'd choose to stay me...just plain old Lois Lane."

Clark rubbed his eyes and ran a hand over his face. "Ok, I know it's late…or early rather," he said, glancing at the clock. "But I'm still not getting it. What's wrong with 'plain old Lois Lane'? Isn't that who I asked to marry me? Isn't that who I married? Who said I wanted you to have super powers?" He was truly confused now.

Huffing, Lois folded her arms over her chest. "Yes, but you told me that you had told Lana exactly what I always thought you thought…" Clark could feel a headache coming on with the effort of trying to keep up with his wife. "That you've always wanted someone to share your life with, 'side by side together'."

He shrugged. "But isn't that what you and I do? Lois, we work together, we live together…how much more '_together_' is there?" he asked.

Squinting, Lois tilted her head and studied him. "You really don't understand, do you?" she asked softly in surprise.

Clark started to shake his head but something clicked at that moment. Lois and Oliver's break up…the time she had his abilities and tried to break off their engagement…Lana and her abilities. He remembered something Lois said when he comforted her after her break up with Oliver.

"_Can you imagine what it would be like to look into somebody's eyes and realize that their destiny is so much greater than yours that you will never compete…you will _**always**_ be left behind?" The tears in her eyes cut straight to his heart. As much as Lois got on his nerves from time to time, she was really a good friend and he hated to see her hurting. That was why he had gone to see how she was doing._

"_That would be hard for anyone, but…"_

_But she didn't let him say anything else. "No, I can't be left behind one more time! You know, where Ollie's life is going…there's not room for me in it, and I know he'd never admit that…so I had to. I just, um…I can't face another heartbreak down the road."_

That was it! Lois was afraid of… "You're afraid I'll leave you behind? You're afraid that you aren't enough for me just the way you are? Lois…!" His disbelief was apparent.

Giving a small, nervous laugh, Lois sniffed and pushed her hair back away from her face. "Well, when you put it like that…I mean when you say it out loud…" she muttered. "I just…I just thought that if you still had any feelings for Lana, and-and since she had powers that I never will…" she trailed off again and shrugged. Then she huffed again and straightened her back. "I just want to make sure that you aren't just _settling_ for me…that you're with me because you really want to be with _me_ not just have someone in your life."

Clark was back to wanting to shake her again. "Lois Joanne Lane, I want you to look at me and listen up because I'm going to say this once and for all and I want you to believe this. I love YOU. I want to spend my life with YOU. Lana was my past. Something I learned about that brief time that Lana and I tried to get back together while you were in Star City was that you can't go back. You can't make people be what or who you want them to be. You have to be able to accept them for who they are…completely. Lana never felt like she was enough for me just the way she was, and I never thought I was right for her because of my abilities.

"But, Lois, we have _always_ had something special! You have never asked me to be someone or something other than who and what I am. You acknowledged the problem I had with the pull of trying to be two people and instead of asking me to choose, you helped me discover how to balance that out and make it work! You have earned a place in my life and in my heart…and even with the League, just by being who you are. You are exactly who I need and want to be with. I love you, Lois, and I wouldn't change anything about you. And if Lana was here begging me to come back to her, I would choose you! I will always choose you! There could never be anyone else," he told her firmly.

The tears that flowed now were happy ones and Lois felt her heart mend and fill with love. Something inside her uncoiled and she felt a weight lifted from her. Clark loved her, she had always known that. But to hear him say that no matter what, he would choose her over anyone else…she finally felt free, free to be truly happy and enjoy their married life to the full, without any lingering doubts that she wasn't enough for him, or that someday he might wish she was something other than what she was.

Throwing her arms around his neck, Lois crashed her mouth to his and Clark eagerly responded before once again pulling back to look at her. "You heard what I said right? You believe me? I don't ever want to find out you are doubting your place at my side again," he told her.

She smiled at him and nodded. "Yes, Smallville, I heard you and I believe you. We'll just see if you still feel that way when I'm 90 and you're having to push me around in a wheelchair and some young, good-looking…"

Clark didn't let her finish, however. He placed a gentle hand over her mouth and shook his head. "That's one thing I don't want to think about. I know we've been told that I don't age like everyone else but the truth is none of us know how long we have. I will love you, Lois Lane, until the day that I die, whichever of our deaths might come first. You are the one who holds my heart…and you will forever."

The soft look of love that came over her face couldn't display how her heart was melting at his words. "Then show me, Smallville. Take me to bed. Make love to me," she whispered, placing light kisses all over his face.

He shuddered with need and want. Closing his eyes to gain control, Clark opened them again and looked over at the window where the first rays of sunlight were coming over the horizon. "Are you sure, Lois? We've been up all night now and you didn't get much sleep last night, finishing up that story so that we could make it to the game…"

Lois placed a hand on his face and he turned back to her. "Clark, I love you and if you don't make love to me right now…I'm going to make you very, very sorry, and you will never hear the end of it," she told him with an evil grin.

Clark grinned back at her for a moment before, in a whoosh of air using his super speed, he snatched her up and carried her to the bed. Gently laying her down and then carefully hovering above her, he looked down into the face he held so dear in his heart. "No more worries about Lana or powers?" he asked.

Shaking her head, Lois smiled up at him. "No."

"No more worrying about you not being enough for me or not fitting into my life?"

Again, she shook her head. "No, because you have told me what I needed to hear to accept my life as I should have long ago." He raised one eyebrow in question.

"That Clark Kent will always choose to be with Lois Lane because he loves her," she told him softly. Just as he leaned in to kiss her, she grinned and added, "Even though I can be a total pain in the ass."

He rolled his eyes at that but joined her in laughing. Shortly, however, laughter turned into soft moans and those turned into pants and groans as husband and wife showed each other how much they meant to one another in the most intimate way possible. Sometimes, their love making was fun and playful, sometimes it was explosive and passionate, but this time…this time, Clark took the time to make sure that Lois knew that she was special…that he all but worshipped her and that there would never, could never, be anyone else.


	9. Chapter 9  Epilogue

**Unfulfilled Wishes**

A/N: It has been a long journey my friends. Not in the number of parts to this story but in time and writing. It took a lot out of me to write this story. If you found it even slightly entertaining, I hope you'll take a minute to let me know. I really appreciate all feedback, criticisms, etc. Thanks to all of you readers for your patience and encouragement. I'm sorry for your wait but RL is a real b****! Now for the final part of this story…

Epilogue

Shifting her weight back and forth from one foot to the other, Lois Lane looked around the corridor as she waited for an answer to her knock. She heard a brief rustling on the other side of the door. Squaring her shoulders, she lifted her chin slightly and forced herself to still. She curled her hands into tight fists and left them that way to stop her nervous flexing of them.

She didn't really understand her nervousness. Maybe it wasn't nervousness per se, more like nervous energy…a hopefulness that this meeting would go the way she hoped it would and that the last of her fears could be laid to rest. She had two people she wanted to talk to…no _needed_ to talk to before she could finally and completely put the past behind her. This was her first stop. It was the more difficult of the two.

The door opened and the person on the other side started in surprise, eyes widening. "Lois! What a surprise! Would you like to come in?" they asked, stepping back slightly and opening the door wider.

Lois sailed past the shorter brunette. "I probably should warn you about opening the door without checking to see who it is through the peephole first but…" she let her sentence trail off at the look of amusement she got in return. She cleared her throat and tossed her hair back a slightly. "But I guess when you have super powers you don't have to be very careful."

A soft snort of laughter caught Lois off guard. "Actually, I thought you were my brunch. I was expecting room service."

That seemed to take a little of the wind out of Lois' sails. "Oh," she faltered slightly.

Fortunately, her hostess smoothed over the awkward moment. "Please, have a seat," she invited and closed the door.

Lois dropped lightly onto a nearby love seat and glanced over the plush surroundings…well, plush for the location. Smallville and the surrounding area didn't exactly have a Ritz Carlton. Nevertheless, she found it somewhat telling that her hostess had chosen to stay in Granville rather than one of Smallville's quaint hotels or bed-and-breakfasts. The suite was small but comfortable with a kitchenette with a mini-bar, small refrigerator, and microwave in one corner, and a love seat, two chairs and coffee table in the room where they currently were as well as a small closet with mirrored doors by the door to the corridor. There was a bathroom off to the right through one door and Lois assumed that the only other door, which was currently closed, must lead to the bedroom.

A throat cleared from the chair to Lois' left and she wrenched her attention from the room to the other woman. "Did you come by for something in particular, Lois?" Lana asked politely. Her curious expression held a hint of amusement that grated slightly on Lois' slightly tense nerves.

Putting on a somewhat strained smile, Lois grudgingly acknowledged that Lana Lang had only gotten more beautiful with time. Her dark hair, no longer in long waves but just above shoulder length with soft curls, was full and perfectly in place. Her nails were neatly manicured; her black, pin-striped, tailored pants suit was immaculate; and her brown eyes were brightly assessing and framed by perfectly sculptured eyebrows and long, dark lashes. Delicate, dainty, feminine, elegant…all those words came to mind when Lois looked at Lana. She was like a delicate piece of china that should be locked away in a curio cabinet, except she wasn't really as delicate as she appeared anymore. She was a powerful woman, a lot more powerful than anyone would think.

Looking back, Lois had always felt like such a tomboy around Lana in their younger days. Being taller, thinner and always getting herself into scrapes that she felt she could handle on her own, and usually did though not without her share of bruises and scratches, had a way of making Lois feel like an awkward young filly…all legs, clumsy and ungainly. In comparison to Lana, the words crass, bossy, loud, opinionated came to mind when Lois had thought of herself. She was well aware of what Clark had thought about her in their early years of acquaintance. "Bossy, stuck up, rude…"

Now, she was pleasantly surprised to find that was no longer the case. She no longer felt inferior to Lana in any way. While she may never be considered delicate, Lois was strong…instead of dainty, she was powerful. Though she had long ago found the humor and let go of Clark's previous opinions, she had also grown to realize that femininity could take many forms, and elegance…well, elegance was just overrated. Wasn't it? Part of it might have been the fact that she was sure of her place now with Clark, both at his side and in his heart, but part of it was also maturity. Lois Lane was quite sure of who she was and, while never perfect and always a work in progress, she was fine with herself…flaws and all.

"Actually, I came by to see what your plans are," she stated, folding her hands in her lap.

Lana's brow wrinkled in confusion. "My plans? I'm supposed to be meeting with the accountant that handles my business in Smallville in about an hour and a half."

Lois stifled the chuckle that threatened to erupt but didn't quite succeed in hiding a smile. "I'm sorry, I guess I haven't been speaking very plainly lately. What I meant was, what are your plans for the future…more specifically, towards the Justice League and my husband, Clark?"

For a split second, Lana's mask of perfection slipped and her surprise was as plain as the nose on her face. But then she seemed to come back to herself and she let out a soft chuckle. Lois' possessiveness towards Clark hadn't escaped her notice…a far cry from her behavior last night. "Wow. As impossible as I thought it could be, it seems that you've gotten even more direct in the years since I saw you last. You've always been, um, forthright, but I've never heard you be quite so blunt."

Lois felt her cheeks flush slightly and she started to apologize but before she could say anything there was a knock at the door. "Room service!" came a male voice through the door.

"Excuse me a moment," Lana said, moving to let the man from room service inside. "Just place it over there please," she instructed politely with a wave towards the sitting area. She handed him a couple of bills and closed the door behind him.

Turning back to her guest, Lana gestured towards the food. "Would you like anything? There's more than enough here for the both of us. I have some fruit, croissants, cheese slices…"

"No, thanks, I had breakfast," Lois said. Well, if you counted half a bagel after spending a glorious morning in bed with her husband as breakfast… "But if you have an extra coffee cup, I'll take some…please."

After a moment of Lana fixing her plate as well as Lois getting her coffee, they sat back down across from each other. Lana moved a section of bangs from her eyes and Lois raised an eyebrow in question. Lana hid a smile behind her coffee cup. "Let me see, you asked what my plans were…specifically, my plans regarding the League and your husband." She took another sip of her coffee and sat the cup down. "Lois, before I answer that, does this have anything to do with your behavior last night? I got the strange feeling that you were trying to set me up with Clark. Am I mistaken?"

Lois couldn't quite meet Lana's eyes, brushing at a non-existent speck of lint on her skirt. "Yeah, weird huh? Guess I had one too many beers."

"Hmm," Lana said non-committedly. She waited until Lois looked at her again and then smiled reassuringly at the taller woman. "Lois, I'm no threat to you," she began. When Lois' eyebrows only rose higher, she sighed. "Ok, my plans, let me see…you are definitely a general's daughter... When I leave here, I have plans to go to Gotham. Bruce is expecting me and his friend Lucius Fox, along with a couple of trusted scientists, are planning on running a few maintenance type tests on the suit…and me. They are worried about…'negative side effects due to prolonged exposure'," Lana said, her fingers making invisible quotation marks in the air.

"And then?" Lois pushed, wanting to be sure of the other woman's intentions, especially if she was going to be a permanent part of the League…and by extension, her husband's life.

"And then…I don't know! I don't really have a solid plan yet," Lana admitted with a shrug. "If everything checks out ok with me physically, Oliver has said that he wants me checked out mentally by Clark's friend from Mars. Supposedly, he has the ability to read minds and everything. If I pass that test and still want to be a part of the League, it's put to a vote by the other members whether or not to become an official member."

She ate a bite of melon and chuckled. "I hadn't realized that it had become so formalized but apparently, they want to be sure that any concerns about new members of the League are addressed. So far, I've only been used on the side and the only ones who officially knew I was helping were Oliver and Bruce. I can't imagine that Chloe will be overly thrilled that her husband has been keeping that from her, but Oliver said it's not uncommon for a couple of members to put a potential new member through some tests before bringing them forward to the rest of the team. I think it probably has something to do with keeping the identities of everyone safe…and with me in particular, my history with Clark."

They let that hang in the air for a moment until the silence became a little more than uncomfortable. Lois cleared her throat and was about to break the silence when her hostess did it for her. Lana sat back a little, her legs crossed at the knees, her head tilted in thought as she looked at Lois. She held her coffee cup with both hands.

"I'm sure all you'd have to do is say the word, Lois, and I'd be out faster than a speeding bullet," Lana pointed out, her tone mildly curious and, if Lois' ears weren't fooling her, slightly pleading. "According to Oliver and Bruce, and Clark himself, you are his whole world…the reason he is who he is and the reason he does what he does."

"He told you that?" Lois asked, her voice quietly disbelieving.

Lana smiled. "Not in those exact words but yes, Clark did tell me that. Lois, you have nothing to worry about from me. I am absolutely no threat to you. I was Clark's past; you are his present and his future." She leaned forward and sat her cup on the coffee table, looking Lois dead in the eyes. "I have always liked you, Lois, and while I know we were never really close in the past, I do hope that we might become friends in the future. You make Clark happy, and as his friend, that makes me happy…for both of you. So do you think there is any way I might get the ok from you to join the team? Because I'd really like to join the fight with the good guys against the bad."

Lois studied her for a moment, trying to ascertain her sincerity, but Lana didn't blink. The reporter's instincts were crying out that she was genuine in all that she said. "Why is it so important to you? You can help in your own way; why do you want to join the Justice League so badly?"

Lana looked down in thought. "Ever since my parents died in the meteor shower, I've been looking for something…something I couldn't name or even recognize I needed until Clark and I were finally forced apart for good." She looked up into Lois' questioning expression. "Acceptance…belonging…a family. I realized a little bit ago that was why I had joined the cheerleading squad, all the boyfriends, the reason the Talon meant so much to me, the reason I hated every time Clark kept me in the dark, or Chloe for that matter, about his secret. It's also why Lex was so easily able to get to me. He swore he was willing to be up front and honest about everything, that he would always make me feel like I belonged…with him."

Sighing deeply, the shorter brunette sat back again. "Then there was the phantom that I thought was Clark…I've made a lot of mistakes in my past. I became…a distorted image of myself, a monster. I can't undo any of them, but I can learn from them and try to make amends by using the gifts I have to do the most good. I believe that I can serve others best as part of this team. Plus, it will serve the purpose of filling a very real need in my life. I will be a part of something, something good, something bigger than myself. This team is greater than the sum of its parts. I just want to be a small part."

Lois stood up and placed her cup on the cart that held the brunch. "I should go and let you get ready for your meeting with your accountant."

Lana jumped up and for the first time in years, Lois saw a real measure of self-doubt. "Does this mean that you believe that I'm no danger to you and Clark?"

Looking Lana in the eyes, Lois tossed her head slightly, blowing some of her bangs out of her eyes. She gave a shrug and a smile. "Of course, I knew that," she told her. "I just wasn't sure if _you_ knew it."

The two women smiled at each other. "So does this mean that you're ok with me becoming part of the League?" Lana asked.

"Honestly?" When Lana nodded, Lois' smile softened in reassurance. "I think the League would be lucky to have you."

Lana's eyes shot to hers. When she saw the sincerity in Lois' face, tears started to form. "Thank you, Lois. That means a lot coming from you," she said barely above a whisper.

Clearing her throat, Lois grabbed her purse and threw the strap on her shoulder. "Yeah, well, there's way too much testosterone in that club anyway. We need more estrogen to help balance it out," she quipped.

They moved to the door but Lois stopped as she started to reach for the handle. "Any idea what part of the world you might want to make your home?" she asked, simply curious.

Lana shrugged lightly. "Nothing definite yet, but maybe a couple of ideas."

"Well, with the Talon here and the second one on its way to being opened, you could always come back to Smallville, or even Granville. I'm sure either town would be thrilled to have its own hero."

Lois' suggestion touched Lana because she recognized it for what it was…an invitation to be a real part of her life, and by extension, Clark's. She was offering friendship. "Thanks for the suggestion, and the welcome, but while Smallville will always be my home town, it is my past. I'm trying to move into the future. I was thinking about Europe actually."

"Europe? That's a lot of ground to cover. Any particular part?" Lois asked.

Lana's smile warmed and took on a bit of a nostalgic look. "I've always had a thing for Paris, but I don't know anything for sure yet. I may not get a choice in my home base. I'll go wherever the League and I feel I can be the most useful."

"When do you leave for Gotham?"

"Tomorrow evening, barring unforeseen circumstances," Lana answered.

Spontaneously, Lois pulled the smaller woman in for a hug, startling Lana. She took a deep breath. "I would say we should have lunch before you leave, but Clark and I are covering a press conference that's scheduled for late morning tomorrow." She pulled back and smiled at Lana. "But call us the next time you come through Metropolis or Smallville. We'd love to see you."

Lois pulled open the door to the suite and turned to look back at her one time rival as she stepped into the hallway. "And, Lana, please keep in touch," she told her.

Lana's smile was warm and grateful. "Thank you…for everything, Lois."

* * * * * CK/LL * * * * *

Digging in his right pants pocket, Oliver Queen pulled out a cell phone and looked at the display. "Nope, not this one." He pulled a second phone out of the left jacket pocket of his suit. "No, again." He sighed. He really did have too many phones. He pulled out the third and was baffled when its display too was dark. "What the…?"

Then as the phone rang yet again, he heard his wife call from the bathroom. "Aren't you going to get that?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure!" he called back. "Just as soon as I figure out which phone is ringing," he muttered to himself. A light bulb went off in his head and he dove for the cordless phone that sat on the night stand beside the bed. "Bingo!"

If it rang again, it would go to the answering service. "Hello?" he answered, slightly out of breath.

"Oh god! Is now a bad time? Cause I can call you guys back," came Lois' voice over the line.

Oliver grinned into the phone. "Legs! No, you didn't call at a bad time. I just couldn't figure out which phone was ringing."

Her chuckle came across the line loud and clear. "That's what happens when you have too many, Ollie," she teased.

"Yeah, well, some people have too many shoes, others too many handbags, I happen to like phones," he joked. "Listen, Lo, Chloe's in the shower at the moment. We're on our way out to a business banquet for Queen Industries. Any way I could get her to call you back in say…" he looked at a nearby clock. "A couple of hours, 3 tops?"

"Actually, this won't take very long…and I really called to speak with you," Lois said.

"With me?" Oliver was dumbfounded.

Whenever Lois called, if he picked up, they chatted for a second and he got Chloe. The only time she ever called to talk with him was about League matters, which wouldn't be on this line, or if it was one of their birthdays. They still did the beer pong thing every year but occasionally, it was over the phone or computer, and usually it was kept to an hour or two. He still considered her a good friend but the distance was there.

"Yeah, Ollie, with you. You ok with that?" Lois asked, trying to keep a light tone.

"Sure, Lois, what's up? Everything ok?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Yeah, everything's good. Listen, go somewhere where you don't have to worry about us being interrupted for a minute ok? Because what I have to say…it's important."

Oliver stepped out of his bedroom and down the hall to his study. Closing the door softly, he frowned in concern. "Lois, what's going on? This is kind of starting to spook me. You sure you're ok? Everything good with Clark?"

"Everything's fine, Oliver. I just wanted to talk to you for a minute…about us." Lois' voice was warm but a little nervous.

"Us?" Oliver blinked in confusion and his eyebrows shot up in surprise. "What 'us'?"

"Oliver…when-when you and I…when we were…I mean, when I…god this is harder than I thought it would be. I guess because so much time has passed and I'm sure that you just assume that we're already past all this and we are but…" Lois started to ramble.

"Lois!" he interrupted. At her abrupt silence, he added, "You're babbling. What's this all about? What about us?"

Lois coughed lightly. "Well, don't take this wrong, but we were good together, right? I mean, we had fun and everything, didn't we?"

Oliver was silent for a moment, wondering where Lois was going with this. He dropped slowly into a chair and looked out at Star City, his eyes unseeing the world outside. His mind, however, took him back years ago, to the time he had forcibly shoved into the back of his mind when Lois had walked away from him…and eventually ended up with his best friend.

He saw her as that dark blonde who was sexy and seemingly self-assured. He saw her looking up at him with warm affection in her eyes. He refused to allow himself to see her face as it was filled with passion as they were intimate together…that would be crossing a line. But then he saw her face as he told her he was leaving Metropolis and that he probably wouldn't be coming back. He saw her face as she stormed into his penthouse suite in the clock tower in Metropolis when he did come back. His hand rose subconsciously to the cheek that she had slapped in her anger and pain. He saw her face as she found out the truth about him being Green Arrow, both times. He saw her kissing Clark, who was dressed in his costume. He saw her tear-filled eyes as she walked away from him for the last time, unable to handle sharing him with the rest of the world.

Memories washed over and through him like he was hit by a fire hose full force. Everything from their outings for Queen Industries, to their workouts together, to their flirtatious banter, to his trying to win her back yet again when he saw her budding relationship with Clark…all of it came out in seconds…and along with it all, came his self-doubts. These were not the same ones that had been conquered years ago about his right to be Green Arrow and fight the good fight. These were just as personal but of a different nature. He had told Chloe of them long ago but she had known that he would have to overcome them on his own. She could only help so much.

"Ollie?"

Lois' soft call came across the line and he sat up straighter, clearing his throat. "Yeah, I'm still here. Lo, have you been drinking some of that cheap vodka again? Because I know I've warned you about that stuff," he teased.

"Oliver!" she said, and he realized she was serious.

"Yeah…yes, of course we had fun together!" he said, trying to keep his tone light and friendly. "Where is this coming from?"

"I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, about the past."

"Yeah?"

"Clark and I ran into Lana at the homecoming game in Smallville night before last," Lois told him quietly.

Oliver flinched. "Oh. How did that go?"

Lois sighed and didn't answer for a long moment. "Interesting. Without going into a lot of details, it brought up a lot of things from the past and she told us about her helping the League and wanting to join." She left out the part about going to see Lana at her hotel yesterday.

Flinching again, Oliver was glad he was in a different city from Lois Lane at the moment. "She told you about all that, huh?"

"Yeah, but anyway, I got to thinking and I realized that…well, I got to thinking about that day when you told me you were leaving Metropolis and I asked you to stay. Do you remember that?" Lois asked.

"Remember that? Lois, of course I remember it," Oliver said disbelieving she could possibly think otherwise.

"Do you remember what you told me? When I asked you to stay and you told me that you couldn't because there were some things that were bigger than what you wanted and what you loved? Do you remember what I said? What you said?"

_*Flashback*_

"_I hope that someday I can explain why," Oliver told Lois, her tears breaking both of their hearts._

"_Don't expect me to be waiting around for that when you get back," she told him, turning away from him._

"_I'm not coming back, Lois, at least not any time soon," he told her softly. He told her that he never wanted to hurt her and she pointed out that he did anyway. "This is the-the moment right? The moment that I'm gonna regret for the rest of my life, isn't it?" he asked, knowing it was true._

"_Yes," she answered simply. Then she kissed him, pulled back, and whispered, "I love you." Then she walked away._

Lois' voice broke through their shared memories. "Then you came back and you asked for another chance…that you could make 'this'…us work and I told you I couldn't because I couldn't share you with the rest of the world."

"Are you going somewhere in particular with all of this, Lois?" Oliver asked, his tone harsher than he intended.

She was silent for a moment. "Do you regret it? Any of it? You mentioned once something about regrets…"

Oliver sighed loudly. "Do I regret any of it?" he said, thinking and rubbing a hand over his eyes. "Yeah, if I'm being completely honest, I do have regrets. I'm sorry that I didn't admit to you about Green Arrow the first time you found out. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about it when I had to leave that first time." He swallowed hard and blew out a breath. "I'm sorry that I hurt you, Lois." He let a beat pass. "Because I know I did."

A sniff came from Lois' end of the line and when she answered, her voice was a little watery. "Thank you, Ollie. Thank you for that apology." She took a deep breath and her voice was stronger. "But you don't regret how things ended up right?"

Ollie straightened in the chair. "What?! No…God no! Of course I don't regret how things ended up. I'm extremely happy with Chloe and our life together. I wouldn't want it any other way," he declared vehemently. "And as for you and Clark…well, no couple has ever been more perfect for each other. I'm really happy for you both. Despite all my wishes for you and I to work out all those years ago, I wouldn't change how our lives ended up for anything. I just think I might change a couple of things about the path we took to get here."

She snorted softly but then quieted again. "Ollie?"

"Yeah?"

"It was never about you, not really. When I said that I couldn't share you with the rest of the world, I didn't mean I couldn't share you with Green Arrow," Lois told him with quiet sincerity. "I know that I let you believe that was what I meant, and it was part of it but not the whole story."

Oliver was at a loss. What did she mean? "Lois…I…?"

"You didn't tell me about Green Arrow for a reason. Maybe you didn't completely trust me or maybe you were trying to protect me, but the bottom line is you chose to walk away from us that first time, Oliver, and it tore me to shreds. I mean I was a wreck," she admitted bluntly.

"But then you came back and I didn't know if you would have ever told me on your own or if you were just going to leave me in the dark again. Then I found out the truth and it was a moot point. That's one of the reasons that I didn't tell Clark when I first found out about him and the Blur. I needed to see if he would ever tell me himself." She took a deep breath and it came out on a long sigh. "But I'm getting off subject. The truth is…I was scared of getting hurt again. You left me behind once, Ollie, and I just couldn't stand the thought of you leaving me behind again. So I hurt you first."

Resting his forehead on his hand and his elbow on his thigh, Oliver allowed his eyes to drift closed. "Lo…" he said, his voice full of remorse.

"No, Oliver, let me finish. It wasn't just Green Arrow that might leave me behind, the hero, but also Oliver Queen, the billionaire playboy. You had the huge conglomerate, Queen Industries, you were running by day and playing a modern day Robin Hood in green leather by night and I just couldn't see where I would fit in that schedule and your list of priorities. In the end, I knew that you would try to make it work with me…you would have sincerely tried but something would have had to suffer. You had too much on your plate, not to mention your own insecurities and demons from your past about your parents and everything."

Oliver was amazed. Had she known him that well back then or was this hindsight? "Lois…"

But again, she didn't give him a chance to say anything. "But that's not the whole story, Ollie. I've never put the blame for why we couldn't work, why we didn't work, on you and Green Arrow and Queen Industries. I knew that if you were trying to do all of that, and you tried to make a real relationship between us work, that we would end up resenting each other or worse…" her words trailed off and she cleared her throat. "I couldn't live with myself if every time you left me alone to go be a hero, you were so full of guilt or wondering if I was ok with it, that it distracted you and you couldn't do the job. I couldn't live with myself if you had left one night and I was sitting at home, after having argued with you about being left behind again, and something happened to you…" Her voice broke but she cleared her throat again, harder this time, determined to finish. "I couldn't be responsible if you didn't come home one night."

His eyes stung and burned with the pain of tears at her words. Lois had worried about him. She had refused to try in a real relationship because she was trying to protect him. He was humbled, touched, and in a strange way, relieved at her revelation. Now that she was quiet again for a moment, Oliver found that he couldn't speak past the lump in his throat, and he tried desperately to pull himself together. Chloe would come looking for him any minute.

"So, I guess the bottom line is…I'm sorry too, Ollie," Lois told him softly. "Because I know that I hurt you too. I'm so proud of the man you've become…the _hero_ you've become, and I hope that we can finally put that time behind us and look at it as a blessing that things ended up like they did. Cause Chloe doesn't have quite the temper that I do…and she's not as quick to throw things as I am."

Chuckling, Oliver wiped his eyes. "Oh, your cousin has a bad enough temper if you push the right buttons," he joked. Then he sobered, but his smile was still there. "But thank you, Lois. Thank you for calling and getting us to talk about all of this. I'm glad we didn't end up together but I'm ecstatic that you're still a part of my life."

"Of course you are! Anybody who doesn't know Lois Lane is missing out," she jested.

"Yeah, they are," he agreed, completely serious.

"Well, I'd better let you go. I know you're on your way out…and I can't sit here yakking to you all night long," Lois teased.

He laughed and stood up, stretching a bit. "Yeah, well, call any time, Lane. It's always good to hear from you."

"Ok, have fun tonight. Oh, and Ollie?"

"Yeah, Legs?"

"I vote she's in," Lois told him.

Not entirely sure he believed she was saying what he thought she was saying, Oliver allowed a moment to go by before he answered. "You mean Lana? Are you sure?"

"Of course I mean Lana! What else could I be talking about?" she asked him. Before he could say anything else, she added, "Bye, Ollie!" and hung up.

A pair of feminine arms snaked around his waist from behind as Oliver pushed the button to disconnect the call. "Who was that?" Chloe asked, squeezing him briefly.

Turning his head so he could smile down into his wife's face, Oliver felt his heart overflow with love and peace. "Lois," he answered simply.

Chloe's smile was immediate but it turned curious at the look in his eyes. "Everything ok?"

"Yeah, everything's just perfect," he answered, wrapping his arms around her and lowering his lips to meet hers.

* * * * * CK/LL * * * * *

Lois' smile was bright as she hung up the phone. All was finally right with the world. At that moment, her husband flew in through the balcony and into the bathroom. She heard the shower momentarily and then he breezed through again, and she noticed as the whooshing sound stopped and everything settled into place that the laundry basket was gone. Clark had breezed in and out in a matter of seconds and the only way she knew it was because everything had been blown around the apartment and her hair was fluffed by the wind.

"I hope he remembers to use the stain lifter and pre-soak setting if it's really a mess," she mumbled to herself. Then she frowned. "And he better remember not to wash the cape with anything light colored."

She had just put their dinner on the table when he breezed in again and stopped beside her at the dining room table. "Hey, sweetheart," he greeted her with a peck on the cheek. "I'm sorry I blew through here so fast but there was a mudslide in Chile that I had to take care of and the suit really needed to be washed before any stains set in." He went to the kitchen and grabbed two glasses of wine and the bottle to carry it in for her.

"Mudslide! Smallville, you better not get mud all in that washer and all over my things too!" she scolded mildly. He always washed his Superman suites at the farm in Smallville.

Clark grinned and winked at her as he held her chair out for her to sit down. "Nah, I made a slight detour through the Pacific to wash off the majority before I came here." As she opened her mouth, he held up a hand. "And I'm washing my suits separately so the colors won't run. I had a whole load of just Superman's suits. I'll get to your stuff as soon as those are done."

She came over and dropped into his lap, surprising him, but his arms automatically wrapped around her and pulled her close. Lois draped her arms around his neck and looked lovingly into her husband's eyes. "Yeah, well, Superman's been busy the last few days. Mudslides in Chile, earthquakes in California, wildfires in Nevada…seems to me he could use some time to relax and unwind."

Blue eyes turned playful. "Oh yeah? Any ideas?" Clark asked.

"Mmm. Maybe one or two," she said, allowing him to pull her closer. There was a minute or two of a fusion of lips and dueling tongues before she pulled away. "Our food is getting cold."

Clark's hold did not loosen. "So? We can reheat it. We have a microwave…or my heat vision," he pointed out, his gaze letting her know that he was hungry for something other than food.

Lois grimaced. "Yeah, your heat vision doesn't work so good with Italian, Smallville. The pasta ends up rubbery." She disengaged herself from him and moved to her side of the table. "Besides, you may not think you have to eat but after helping with a mudslide, you should. You need the sustenance…and I'm starving."

Chuckling, Clark was content to let her go, for now. He looked down at his plate. "DiMaggio's?" he asked, picking up a fork.

"Of course. Nobody does Italian better…at least not in Metropolis," she answered with a shrug and a smile. He had just gotten a bite of his stuffed shells on his fork when she announced, "I talked with Oliver today."

"Yeah? How are he and Chloe doing? Everything ok?" he asked, popping the food in his mouth.

He was loading his second bite onto his fork when she answered. "Yup, they're doing just fine. I told him that I voted to let Lana into the League." She sipped on her wine before loading her own fork with her fettuccine.

Clark coughed and sputtered, not expecting that at all. Lois calmly munched on her food, waiting for him to get under control. "What…?" he asked hoarsely. He pounded his chest and drank some of his wine before trying again. "Excuse me, but would you mind repeating what you just said?"

"Not at all," Lois said graciously. Then she went on to tell him all about her conversation with Oliver, almost verbatim. "So then, just before I hung up, I told him that I thought she should be a part of the League."

Squeezing her hand across the table, he gave her a smile filled with warmth and love. "I guess going by Lana's hotel room and talking with her was a good thing then, huh?" he asked as his smile transformed into a mischievous grin.

Lois looked shocked. "You…you knew about that? How…I mean…?"

"Lana called me at the _Planet_," he answered simply. "She wanted to say goodbye and told me how great it was that you and I had talked and that you were ok with her being a full member of the Justice League, working alongside me and hoped we could all get together soon." Her eyes narrowed in suspicion and his grin widened. She knew he was holding something back, and he knew she knew it. "And she wanted to make sure that I hadn't sent you to talk to her for some reason, and she also wanted to make sure that you weren't on something with that complete about face in attitude…wanting to thrust us together one night and then staking your claim the next day."

A flush appeared on her cheeks, which she hid behind her wine glass. "Well…" Then she gave up trying to think of something to say to that and laughed at herself.

"Lois Lane, speechless," Clark teased. "That's never a good sign."

She smirked at him and raised an eyebrow. "Oh, I can think of at least one instance where it is definitely a good sign."

Now it was his turn to flush but he didn't look away, his blue eyes darkening. "Careful, Mrs. Kent, you might not get to finish your dinner before it gets cold."

"Not only speechless," Lois continued as if he hadn't said anything. "But also breathless."

Her eyes shot to his and her hazel ones took on a triumphant look as he fought for control of his heat vision. It only lasted a second but she never missed that look. Her eyebrow arched higher and suddenly, she found herself in her husband's arms, being carried to the bedroom. "And you're the only thing that can do that to me," she added as he laid her on the bed, their eyes never breaking contact.

"Lois…" Clark's voice turned tender as he closed his eyes and rested his forehead to hers. "I was so afraid you would pull away from me. I wish you had told me long ago about all these fears of yours. I'm sorry I hurt you."

"I'm sorry," she said quietly back, her hand running through his hair. "I should have, but I guess I didn't really know it was still an issue until it came up again."

He lifted his head to look down into her eyes. "It's funny."

"What is?" she asked.

"Oliver said he had wished on many times in the past that you and he would work out. I remember wishing the same thing more than once about Lana and me," he told her with half a smile. She waited patiently, knowing he had more to say but emotions were overwhelming her. "I'm so thankful that those wishes didn't come true."

"Me too," she whispered, leaning up and capturing his lips with hers.

It was some time later when they had to reheat their dinner in the microwave.


End file.
